20 Questions...(probably more)

Okay some of you have played this game for me or with me depending on who you are and how far we were going. I've even made 20 questions for a couple of my friends when they go on road trips. I think it's fun, Trevor hates it, but I think it's important to see where you are in your relationship, if in fact you really do share the same thoughts. The following are questions that I wrote out several weeks ago for my man to read over and I had presumed he would actually answer them. Well we've probably all heard where presuming will land you...So while you are traveling with or without your family and especially your spouse for more than 15 minutes take a few minutes to LISTEN not just with your ears but your heart. Keep in mind listening and applying are 2 total different things. #1 rule of 20 Questions: There is no wrong answer! I say this directly to myself because when Trevor answers something in a way I don't agree with (tone included) I get all defensive and it takes the fun out of the whole experience. 1. How has this experience (my blog or Trevor's cancer or any trial you've experienced lately) changed you? My answer: I am capable of doing so much more. 2. 4 Things You Want to Accomplish before age 75. My Answer: I would like to read the Bible through prayerfully and not just words on the page. I would like to sky dive. I would like to be a HOT BOD on a healthy level again. I would like to go 1 year without a carbonated beverage. 3. 1 person dead or alive you would like to spend the day with. Audrey Hephburn. 4. If you weren't whatever you are now (occupation) what would you be/do: If I wasn't a mom, I would be lost as a goose in a hail storm. 5. Name one book you've read that you enjoyed: I enjoy most books I read. The last book I read that I would NOT recommend is Girl Gone. (I know this should be underlined, but refer to previous posts where I've hit a button on my lap top and changed the lay out of the blog. That's why everything is a run-on thought...sorry) 6. Is there anything you would change about yourself? Why? I would try to be "seen and not heard" as much. I've been told that I'm very abrasive and I truly don't mean to be, sometimes (a lot of times) my words/emotions jump out before I have a chance to think the whole thought through. 7. What would your next vehicle be? I would get the same just newer Nissan Quest! I love my minivan. 8. What do you look forward to? I look forward to my man being completely healed and our life getting back to being cancer free! 9. What is your favorite daytime TV show? I like watching re-runs of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Orange County. If that isn't on, I enjoy watching Income Property or Property Brothers on HGTV. 10. What is one thing you look forward to eating? This close to Thanksgiving, I'm looking forward to eating cornbread dressing with Turkey and cranberry sauce. Otherwise, I LOVE a good, juicy cheeseburger with ketchup 3 warm thin sliced dill pickles and thin slice purple onion... 11. Top 3 ALL-TIME favorite movies: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Holiday Inn and Love Actually 12. 4 Things You Want for Christmas: a locket and chain to put my babies and man in to wear around my neck, a yellow Casio digital watch, brown boots and a personal trainer. 13. One language, besides English, you would like to know (not necessarily learn but know): High-school French didn't really pay off, but after visiting the Dominican Republic, I wish I knew Spanish. 14. 3 Things you like about your city. 3 Things that would make your city better: I like the small town feel. I like being right off of I-40 and central to anything in West Tennessee. I like seeing people from my past that are surprised that I live in Jackson. Changes: A recycling program that correlated with garbage pick-up. Not so much trash and litter in our city and county. Vann Dr interchange designed for a growing city with lots of traffic not designed for 4 cars to go through interchange...IT'S JACKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you know if you've ever gone to Chile's or Wal-Mart! 15. 1 Thing you like about yourself: I like that I'm willing to try anything once. 16. 1 Thing you like about me: Depends on who you are, but I appreciate that ya'll have read this and have prayed with and for me, my babies and my man and our family. 17. Your favorite Color: mine depends on my mood 18. The grade/teacher that impacted you most: Mary Lou Snowden, 5th grade. She made me realize I had to get an education, my life would be way more successful if I really applied myself and tried. 19. All-Time Favorite Song: Chicago 17, You're The Inspiration and #20. Was FRIENDS not the best show on NBC's "must see TV"? YES IT WAS!!! and it's great on Nic@nite.. My blessing for you is from Numbers 6:24-26 "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace." Safe traveling and Happy Thanksgiving! p.s. and if anyone knows how to unjack up my computer so that it isn't a run-on, please advise...please!

Quickly...but more to come later

AS I write quickly because I wanna try to catch you up on a synopsis basis because Trevor and I are going to watch the new Duck Dynasty and I don't wanna have to rewind or DVR... Trevor finished his chemo/radiation 10/26...his radiation burns around his neck are getting better. His new skin underneath the burned looks really good. He only has to shave maybe a couple times a week. I've tried that and it isn't comfortable unless I sleep in leggins and I get too hot to do that but I HATE to shave while it's cold. Those of you waiting for snow, this is the time of year I wanna be on a beach getting my Vitamin D! Anyway, Trevor was losing bits of hair around his neck line so his nephew went ahead and buzzed his head back to his summer "do". So if you know my man, his summer hair is buzzed with a #1 or #2 guard. So it's really short and the white hairs show a lot more the shorter it is! 15 years of me and my 40 year old man is white haired...SEXY, I tell ya! Moving on...the Physical Rehabilitation Department at JMCGH did a GREAT job doing the Run Hard/Fight Harder 5k 1 mile Fun Run. I can't give enough praise and thanks to the volunteers and sponsors that made this event so successful. Over 277 people pre-registered and then on race day, I don't know how many more. It was so good to see old friends and making new ones. My husband is a well respected man in his profession and a loved man by many. Our family has been so blessed with a Godly family, with encouraging and Godly friends and especially encouraging and Godly co-workers in all of our work places. Be thinking about what you have learned through my family's cancer experience. I'll share what I have learned over the past 16 weeks. Psalms 34:17 "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them from out of all their troubles"

A Legacy

Exodus 20:12 "Honor thy father and mother that thy days may be long on the land that the Lord thy God give thee." My cousin and I discussed this verse Thursday as she was the 5th person in 15 minutes to call me and let me know that my 93 year old grandfather had passed away. He lived a long happy life. She said he had to have been a good kid, he raised his kids (our parents) to honor their parents and he was blessed by his obedience. He died with family around, he died with babies around. That's how he lived, kids everywhere! If you have seen any of my cousins or aunts or uncle we all have swollen punkin faces with slits for eyes. And everyone that wears contacts probably had glasses on today. Makes it easier to wipe the tears that happen to start flowing at most in opportune times. I was talking to my cousin's son on our way back to Jackson last night and we were laughing about how many of us there are, kids, grand kids, great grand kids and even great-great grand kids...we are part of what could be known as a southern mafia family. We are not a financially wealthy family as a whole but when something affects one of us, it affects us all on a certain level. Carl Harchfield had 7 kids, he is survived by 3 daughters and 1 son. This is the man that my daddy lived with over the past 10 years. The man that would not let us put daddy into an assisted living facility 10 years ago because he said, as long as he was alive, "he would take care of the boy". My cousin skyped from China and he reminded us of several things that we could laugh about, things that formed us as we grew up. How do you know when a watermelon is ready to pick? Thump it...before picking it. Eating popcorn on newspaper. Tina the black poodle that was Daddy Carl's lap dog. We used to walk through the cemetery to go fish. I remember walking to the pond to fish and walking by his tombstone. As a child I was confused about why he and Mom Opal already had headstones in the cemetery but weren't dead. They paid for it as they had the money. I can remember riding home from church with him and Mom Opal from church with as many kids in the car that would fit. I remember learning the books of the Bible when I became a new Christian and I had to say them to him. I didn't know him as a boy growing up on Island 35, I didn't know him as a young married man or a young father or a young Christian. I knew him as my grandfather, as a Godly man, as a man the was a quiet man, but when something amused him, you couldn't understand him while he tried to tell you because he would get so tickled. I remember my grandmother doing most of the talking and him just sitting there. But when he did speak, it was something that needed to be heard. Mom Opal died 13 years ago. When she died, he told my cousin that this is the way it's supposed to be. He didn't want her to have to live with the pain he was going to have to live with living without her. He said he loved her more everyday, he loved her more the day she died than he did the day they married. I told Trevor, that's what I wanted, I wanted that marriage. Obviously times have changed, but the institution of marriage hasn't and I find myself wanting THAT marriage more. The harder I work to have that marriage, I realize the more I love my man and the harder I work. This cancer incident has proven to me marriage is work, but anything worth having is worth working hard for. I know that God has prepared me for this moment in my life, in my marriage. Daddy Carl was a sharecropper. He was a veteran and the father of 7. He believed he was the wealthiest man he knew...and he was. Not on a monetary scale, but he was a man loved by many. He loved over 60 grand kids and prayed for everyone of us. He was a man that showed Christ's love to every person that walked in the door of Beaver Baptist Church. If the door was open, he was there, in his pew. Before the church grew, when there were only 2 sides of the aisle, he and Mom Opal sat in the 5th pew back and the rest of the Harchfield's filled up the pews in front and back of his pew. On the other side of the church sat my other grandmother in the 2nd pew and everyone else in the church. He loved the church. He loved the body of Christ. He loved the man in the pulpit. He may not have always agreed with him, but he prayed for him. Every preacher over the past 50 years has eaten at Daddy Carl's kitchen table. When Mom Opal was alive, it was a fried chicken and spaghetti kinda Sunday lunch or chicken and dressing, not all lunches but the really good ones. As I look back over the past few days with my family as we mourn our loss of this great man, I also mourn the loss of how life used to be. I have lost sight of what I really am. I am a very wealthy woman, I am part of the legacy that Daddy Carl left. He set an example of prayer, hard-work, studying the Word of God and living according to that word. I can only pray that I have honored my father and my mother that my life will be long on the land the God has promised. I can pray that Daddy Carl's legacy will continue to live through me and that my children will reap his blessings.

The End Is Better

So Trevor finished his last chemotherapy and his last radiation on Friday, October 26. I took a small video and picture with my phone but believe it or not, I can't seem to attach it to my blog...I'm so very technologically challenged. Whew-Hoo...treatments are over! Trevor will have follow up appointments in December. His radiation oncologist will look at his throat and mouth to see how well it is healing. He will also see his chemo radiation that same day to discuss when to begin his maintenance chemo treatments. He will have another PET scan with contrast to detect any radical cancer cells. The Friday of his last radiation treatment was a very emotional day for us, okay well for me. He went into his last radiation treatment nauseated from the amount of saliva his mouth produced and still produces. He was exhausted from not getting a lot of sleep the night before because, again, the amount of saliva his mouth produces as well as his sinus drainage. I've tried timing how often he gets up in the night just to spit, it never fails...I fall asleep. Generally, he gets up at least once an hour, just to spit. I told him to just roll over and spit in a pot I fixed for him or medicate and sleep. We would probably drown in the bed with the amount of drool that would flow from his slack mouth! He has been using a baking soda/salt water mouth rinse and his doctor said that that has helped his mouth healthy with the amount of radiation he has had and also with the saliva production. He went into radiation and when he came out his doctor told him he gets to ring "The Bell" for completing radiation. The nurse told the doctor that "The Bell" would have to be rung in the waiting room because there were approximately 40-45 people in the waiting room waiting for Trevor. My man is so loved by so many at Jackson General, it is overwhelming. There were doctors, physical therapist, office administrators, pt-techs, pt assistants, nurses and friends that have been praying for our family waiting to see him ring "The Bell"! He was speechless, but that really wasn't too hard since he doesn't have a voice, AT ALL. I was overwhelmed! No words...Really... That afternoon I had an appointment at my babies school. Eli's 4th grade class had been working to surprise him. Parents had organized a goodie basket (2) for him. Just so he would know how much he means to them and to let him know that they "have his back" while his dad is fighting this disease. They put together lots of goodies and games for Eli and Trevor to do together. When I walked into his classroom the entire 4th grade, all 3 classes, were in his classroom and his teacher had asked Eli to sit in front of the class. She was asking the class what did they know about Eli. Eli sees me come in and his eyes bug out of his head, like "what are you doing here? and I'm not in trouble..." I look around the room and I see Eli's "live-wire" friend look at me with teary eyes, there goes a chink in the "tear-guard"...I continue to look at his friends and I see his friend that is the sweetest, most kind-hearted little girl.(When he fell out of the deer stand, "sweet-cheeks" had her grandmother call while he was at LeBonheur to check on him. Sweet-cheeks had gone to see Taylor Swift and was in Memphis and wanted to be sure he was okay. When we got home she had her mom go get donuts just so she could come over and see how well he was really doing.) Anyway, I'm looking around his classroom again and I see "sweet-cheeks" and she is teary eyed too...another chink in my tear guard...it's all I can do to hold it together. His sweet teacher continues to tell him how special he is to her and to his classmates, all the while looking back at me...chink! chink! chink! I turn around and my sweet Hot Pants friend is in the back of the classroom wiping tears from her eyes...good thing I carry a tissue at all times, because I was wiping the tears away too! I have been so blessed by Eli and Neely's friends and by their parents. Our school has prayed for our family on several occasions. They have provided for us and their prayers have carried us through the past year, thank you. As Eli is gathering his goodies and asking friends to help carry it all, I go to Neely's class. I'm finally composed and ready to face my princess and her class, because they had put together a goody box for her too! Just to let her know how much she means to them and to remind her that they are praying for her and her dad and for his quick, total recovery. I walk into her classroom and her sweet teacher tells me she was waiting for me to show her friends her goodies...As I look at her teacher, again...chink in the tear guard. I'm doing quick swipes to keep from having to answer "why? what's wrong? are you okay?" questions from 2nd graders! Our children go to Trinity Christian Academy in Jackson Tennessee. Several years ago we had a speaker that spoke at a banquet for our school. He compared our school to the other private schools in our area and what set us apart from the others. God has provided every year for our children to attend TCA. We wanted our children to get a great education. We wanted our children to be educated by educators that seemingly re-enforce our parenting. The other private schools in our city are all of the best caliber and those of you that read this and go to those other schools know the academic excellence your schools provide. But this speaker several years ago asked "what sets TCA apart from the other private schools in Jackson?" The answer should be the "Christian". Not Trinity Christian Academy, but the Christians our children are and we pray they will be. From my family's experience, the Christian families in our community and especially those Christian families that are trying to raise Godly children that attend our school, we have been ministered to through you and blessed by you, thank you. A friend of mine shared with me on the very last day of Trevor's treatments, Ephesians 7:8 "The end of a matter is better than it's beginning." I concur. The end of Trevor's treatments were more painful and harder to take and harder for me to watch, but this is the end of this battle.