I've told this story so many times but this weekend Trevor and I told it together, well at least the parts that overlapped. I've never heard his version of our story but I've told him that Dermot Mulroney will play him in our movie and initially I thought Vanessa Marcil would play me. I would even get a tramp stamp so that we it be more believable but the last thing I saw her in, she had had some botox or something done and I didn't like the looks of the outcome. So I think I'm going to opt for Emma Stone to play me. LOTS of you have heard this so skip ahead to the important bold stuff at the bottom. I just needed to replay the past for you so I can appreciate where my husband is and how much he truly loves me and has always cared for me.
Okay, picture it UTM, fall of 1991...my room mate and I were chit-chatting it up one night in our bunk beds. Low and behold there was a surprise room check! I was sitting on my top bunk in a floral night gown, there was a knock on the door and the door knob jangled and then the door opened-we hadn't locked our door. Dorm orientation 101, always lock your door especially at night. This tall, dark haired, blue eyed guy comes in, he is wearing red mesh basketball shorts and a with t-shirt with Red Devil basketball on the front. He introduces himself as an RA and encourages us to follow dorm policies. When he walks out I'm sure I made some smart-alleck comment about "he's a stud-muffin" or something in the like!
Anyway, I had started hanging out with this freshman guy, Chad and we had planned on doing something, I now have know idea what it was but before we were going to do it, he had to go to his floor meeting. Lo and behold, who is the RA on THAT floor doing the introductions, policies and procedures, you got it the same RA and this time I remembered his name...Trevor! That night I also met 3 other guys, Chris, Nathan and Ed who even now are the dearest of friends. Even with on-again-off-again with Chad, those guys remained my friends too. The thing with having guy friends is even when a relationship with one of their good friends doesn't work out, they don't severe all ties with the other party (me), women could learn from this...
Fast Forward to September 27, 1995....I've graduated college, Chad will graduate in the following spring but we were no longer dating but still talking. Ed and Chris had graduated. Nathan was in Nurse Practitioner school at Vanderbilt and Trevor was in PT school at UT Memphis. I started a job at the Jackson Family YMCA August 30. I had been driving to Jackson from Millington daily until I got an apartment in Jackson.
It was a Thursday night and I had just gotten off the exit to go to my parents house...
My mom had called the sheriff in Fayette County, because she knew him and he knew our family, because she just had a "feeling something had happened to me" after the her phone rang and no one was there. If you are a mom, you may have had that kind of feeling before. He said something to the effect of "now Carmen..." with a humoring attitude. Mom began to pray for my safety. No sooner had she hung up, she said the phone rang again and it was the sheriff. He began with, "Carmen, I don't know how you knew, but an off duty state trooper just saw an accident and ran the plates. It turns out it is Angi's car. She is responsive and seems to be okay, scrapes, cuts and a broken leg. He called for LifeFlight because he assumed it was more serious than what it was. By the time you get to the MED, she'll be there and you can probably take her home tonight."
At the time, my sister did peritoneal dialysis at home so my dad had to stay home with her. My brother had just come home from work at Charm's Candy Factory so he drove my mom to the MED. When they got to the MED, emergency personnel was just bringing me down from the helicopter pad. My mom said that I was unrecognizable. She said that my left eyelid was ripped nearly off and was hanging to the side of my eye. I had blood all over me. She kept telling nurses to explain to me what they were doing and what to expect and I would cooperate but I didn't cooperate blindly. My brother was shell-shocked at my appearance. As they began examining me, I didn't sustain a broken back, but had shattered L4 in my back. I had a lacerated liver, punctured lung, mashed intestines and lots of cuts.
The EMT's on the scene had been friends of mine and my brother's. They kept telling me to lie still, keep calm they would do their job. From what has been told to me, I was super excited to see somebody I knew. When the trooper got to me, my car was upside down, a barbed wire fence post had gone through the windshield of my car and another had come through the back glass and I was hanging over the fence upside down halfway in my car. I've tried to picture this and I think only a contortionist could pull this stunt off. The trooper said that it was me, a herd of cows and a cattle chute and me saying, "um 'scuse em, could somebody help me?..." and cows mooing back in response. Randomness follows me in all shapes, sizes and animals...
I'll follow up with the next installment sometime later over spring break this week...
More importantly than a story that began over 20 years ago...Trevor had his follow up appointment with the Radiology Oncologist on Friday and news is GREAT! From physical examinations, blood work and results of his PET scan, he has no cancer in his body!!!! We will have one more visit in June and they should tie up any loose ends he may have. Trevor still has the feeding tube and had planned on seeing his GI doctor about his throat issues and the possibility of having to have his throat dilated so that he can start swallowing better. The doctor said that he recommends him to let his throat continue to heal on it's own for at least 2 months. He didn't want Trevor to risk having a procedure that may be unwarranted just because Trevor is anxious to get something done. He said his throat is still healing from radiation as well as massive amounts of chemo that caused violent vomiting. He reassured us that this is just a process in healing properly. If something needs to be done about his throat at least give it time to heal from one traumatic event before undergoing another.
So in the scheme of healing and this week of Spring Break and Easter, Trevor has plans of fishing, putting out his turkey blind, sighting in his and Eli's guns to hunt and hopefully some of the stuff on the Spring Cleaning list.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Home...
We are FINALLY home! After 1 week of poison dripping into my man's veins, after countless amounts of nausea medicines, after a case of Peptamen boxed nourishment, an infinite of amount of prayers and praises and an altercation in 4th grade the Eagle is nesting in his own bed. You know that saying "Home is where the heart is"? My mailing address is 48 Vistaview Cove, but my heart has been in room B985 for five days. I love my house but it hasn't been homey enough (excluding laundry and dust bunnies mating) since my man hasn't been here. The babies and I haven't really been her except to sleep and eat breakfast but when Trevor isn't here it's just not where I want to be.
I have been picking my children up at school and we would either come home to bathe before going to the hospital or go to the hospital and come home to wash school and hospital germs off. Trevor wants to see his babies everyday, he may not say a lot but just having them bicker with each other I guess reminds him of home. When we get to the hospital, they are chatting about nothing and arguing about who gets to play their dad's phone. He gets caught up on school happenings and we jet home to begin homework, baths and bedtime. This weeks school happenings involved 2nd grade graded papers and a 4th grade "trucking" incident. Those of you that have not learned elementary lingo, find the nearest McDonald's or park and ask kid what "trucking" is...
Neely's graded papers weren't anything spectacular but I'm led to believe it's because she's had a lot to emotionally deal with over the past 2 weeks. Preparing for her dad to go into the hospital last week and he didn't, really through her knowing she had to look forward to his absence from home this week. My kids function by the seat of their pants like their mom when their dad isn't home. Eli got into a football skirmish on the playground. One of his 4th grade buddies he's known since kindergarten had a meeting of the minds. It basically boiled down to Eli running this kid over (trucking him) because Eli couldn't take anymore of the boys aggravation.
At least once a week since kindergarten, Eli has gotten in the van and complained about what this kid has said or what he did. Several times he has gotten in the van because he got his strip pulled because something this kid did and either Eli retaliated and got caught or the story was misrepresented and they got into trouble. No matter, this week my son had had enough. I had told him if the boy (or anyone) won't leave you alone or he touches you, you touch him harder then tell your teacher. "I got your back", is what I said if he got into trouble but I can't do anything if you don't tell your teacher. So this week, the kid kicks Eli in the package area and Eli "trucks" him on the football field. He went and told his teacher just like we discussed but he left out the key to the whole "trucking" ordeal. Even when I went with him for moral support to tell his side of the story, he never told his teacher that the kid kicked him. Eli assured his teacher he was fine, he just wanted to be moved away from the kid in the classroom.
I am so proud of him for standing up for himself and I told him so. But we also had to discuss running a kid over isn't always the best way to handle things. He got such a boost of self-awareness for running the kid over, I couldn't believe how confident he is. He isn't sorry (and I'm not going to make him apologize if they are empty words) but feels like this kid won't be telling him "you should never have been born", "your mom is lazy", "you have a sorry family", "you're dumb and stupid" or won't be sucker punching him in the bathroom or when the teacher's back is turned or kicking him in the crotch. He got in the van yesterday and said that neither he nor the kid could play football for the rest of the year. I think that is fair punishment, he's devastated! As for the kid, his mom is SOOOO sweet and I wonder if she knows her son runs his mouth or does silly things. I SUREly know my son isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not getting mixed up in 4th grade boy drama, they can work it out on their own if they want to play together. They will be in school together until they graduate so they might as well work it out now or avoid each other for the next 8 years. We go to a pretty small school, avoidance means crossing to the other side of the hallway or eating on opposite ends of the cafeteria.
I'm anxious to see what Trevor says when he comes out of his drug induced stupor. We don't condone fighting but we don't want our children to be run over either. Eli is not aggressive by nature anyway, he sucks it up until he can't take anymore, obviously. His teacher did tell him he didn't have to suck it up, she encouraged him to talk to her about it. She can't see what 20 kids at a time do or say, especially if she's teaching and even more when they are mixed up with 40 other 4th graders. She needs to know what kids are saying and doing. He understood and said he would let her or someone know next time someone bothered him. He really won't though. He'll get in the van and unload and my job is to LISTEN...
Do you ever have trouble just sitting there and listening? Listening to a 10 year old rant, they don't want you to say anything and if you do, be prepared whatever you say is not right. "You don't understand"...gahhhh...never thought I would hear that because I thought I did understand. You know that when we start on a rant, God is listening and He can fix it but that means we have to do the listening too. God has listened to me so much over the past 18 months and I've found that I haven't been doing as much listening as I need to be because I'm trying to fix it on my own. Someone asked me what I've learned through this cancer situation, I've learned that I have to stop and listen. His answers have been so clear, I just have to listen.
Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouraging words. Thank you for your frienships.
Angi
I have been picking my children up at school and we would either come home to bathe before going to the hospital or go to the hospital and come home to wash school and hospital germs off. Trevor wants to see his babies everyday, he may not say a lot but just having them bicker with each other I guess reminds him of home. When we get to the hospital, they are chatting about nothing and arguing about who gets to play their dad's phone. He gets caught up on school happenings and we jet home to begin homework, baths and bedtime. This weeks school happenings involved 2nd grade graded papers and a 4th grade "trucking" incident. Those of you that have not learned elementary lingo, find the nearest McDonald's or park and ask kid what "trucking" is...
Neely's graded papers weren't anything spectacular but I'm led to believe it's because she's had a lot to emotionally deal with over the past 2 weeks. Preparing for her dad to go into the hospital last week and he didn't, really through her knowing she had to look forward to his absence from home this week. My kids function by the seat of their pants like their mom when their dad isn't home. Eli got into a football skirmish on the playground. One of his 4th grade buddies he's known since kindergarten had a meeting of the minds. It basically boiled down to Eli running this kid over (trucking him) because Eli couldn't take anymore of the boys aggravation.
At least once a week since kindergarten, Eli has gotten in the van and complained about what this kid has said or what he did. Several times he has gotten in the van because he got his strip pulled because something this kid did and either Eli retaliated and got caught or the story was misrepresented and they got into trouble. No matter, this week my son had had enough. I had told him if the boy (or anyone) won't leave you alone or he touches you, you touch him harder then tell your teacher. "I got your back", is what I said if he got into trouble but I can't do anything if you don't tell your teacher. So this week, the kid kicks Eli in the package area and Eli "trucks" him on the football field. He went and told his teacher just like we discussed but he left out the key to the whole "trucking" ordeal. Even when I went with him for moral support to tell his side of the story, he never told his teacher that the kid kicked him. Eli assured his teacher he was fine, he just wanted to be moved away from the kid in the classroom.
I am so proud of him for standing up for himself and I told him so. But we also had to discuss running a kid over isn't always the best way to handle things. He got such a boost of self-awareness for running the kid over, I couldn't believe how confident he is. He isn't sorry (and I'm not going to make him apologize if they are empty words) but feels like this kid won't be telling him "you should never have been born", "your mom is lazy", "you have a sorry family", "you're dumb and stupid" or won't be sucker punching him in the bathroom or when the teacher's back is turned or kicking him in the crotch. He got in the van yesterday and said that neither he nor the kid could play football for the rest of the year. I think that is fair punishment, he's devastated! As for the kid, his mom is SOOOO sweet and I wonder if she knows her son runs his mouth or does silly things. I SUREly know my son isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not getting mixed up in 4th grade boy drama, they can work it out on their own if they want to play together. They will be in school together until they graduate so they might as well work it out now or avoid each other for the next 8 years. We go to a pretty small school, avoidance means crossing to the other side of the hallway or eating on opposite ends of the cafeteria.
I'm anxious to see what Trevor says when he comes out of his drug induced stupor. We don't condone fighting but we don't want our children to be run over either. Eli is not aggressive by nature anyway, he sucks it up until he can't take anymore, obviously. His teacher did tell him he didn't have to suck it up, she encouraged him to talk to her about it. She can't see what 20 kids at a time do or say, especially if she's teaching and even more when they are mixed up with 40 other 4th graders. She needs to know what kids are saying and doing. He understood and said he would let her or someone know next time someone bothered him. He really won't though. He'll get in the van and unload and my job is to LISTEN...
Do you ever have trouble just sitting there and listening? Listening to a 10 year old rant, they don't want you to say anything and if you do, be prepared whatever you say is not right. "You don't understand"...gahhhh...never thought I would hear that because I thought I did understand. You know that when we start on a rant, God is listening and He can fix it but that means we have to do the listening too. God has listened to me so much over the past 18 months and I've found that I haven't been doing as much listening as I need to be because I'm trying to fix it on my own. Someone asked me what I've learned through this cancer situation, I've learned that I have to stop and listen. His answers have been so clear, I just have to listen.
Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouraging words. Thank you for your frienships.
Angi
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Birthday Wishes...
Today, March 13 is my man's 41st birthday. When we were about to turn 40, several people commented that 40 is the new 30, or 40 is when you come into your own, 40's are great...you get the picture. When my man turned 40, he was recovering from a deer stand altercation with 3 compression fractures in his back. Today he is 41 and lying in a hospital bed getting his last round of chemo. So far his 40's have been very memorable but nothing that anyone else wants to experience.
Through the past 18 months I have learned so much about the character of my husband. he hasn't faltered in his beliefs or morals. He has endured much physical and emotional pain with no complaining or whining, except by me. He has sustained me with encouraging words when I have come undone over the small things, like laundry. My husband has made me laugh. Watched me when I cried, then wiped my tears and hugged me tight. He has watched me succeed and seen me fail. Trevor has cheered me on and kept me strong. I have wanted some of those qualities to rub off on me, kinda like a chameleon changes color.
Now that we are on the back side of this situation, we are continuing to look forward. Forward being soccer for Eli and also at the last minute, baseball. Yep, my boy decided to play and we are looking forward to a great season on a team with a new coach and new team mates. Those of you that know me know that I will have to make a blanket apology before the season begins. If you sit next to me at practice or games and I offend you by cheering loudly, I apologize but don't sit by me if you don't want to be offended. If you choose to sit beside me and continue to get offended then you must be a glutton for punishment because every child deserves a cheer leader and if you as a parent aren't willing to encourage/cheer for your child, I will! Eli is also playing soccer. He loves it and seems to be good. I know NOTHING about soccer. I'm just now getting a handle on off-sides but other than that I'm lost unless a goal is scored.
Neely plays piano, whick is not very competitive so she's happy as a lark. It also isn't a team sport so she's good. She wants to try gymnastics but again that's a competitive sport and people watch you. She so isn't like her brother, she doesn't want people looking at her or watching her. He wants as much attention as he can get! She has been such a mother and nurse maid for her daddy. She wants to be sure he's comfortable and taken care of. She will be a great wife and mother...one day...a long time away...at least 20 years!
As we prepare for spring and summer, Trevor already tilled the garden last week so when he gets his strength back we'll be ready to start putting in the garden by April. When it snowed a couple of weeks ago, he was digging holes for us to plant grape vines and fruit trees. We got those planted and will probably have peaches this summer. He didn't get to deer hunt or duck hunt much at all this fall and winter and he probably won't get to turkey hunt too much either. It's kinda warm during turkey season (it's sad that I know this) and when he gets too warm or hot, he get nauseous. And we all know nausea us no fun. While it was snowing and he was digging holes for fruit trees, he had taken off his coat and sweat shirt and was digging in short sleeves because he got hot. We live in the Mid-South where it's hot and humid so Trevor's summer could be adjusted to inside things. Hopefully the side effects of the chemo will have expired by the time it gets good and hot/humid and he'll be able to fish, hunt and water ski as well as play ball with Eli.
My wish for him is that this week and next go as well as his previous treatment. He has the patch to put on Friday morning before he leaves the hospital. I wish that his recovery be speedy with no more bumps. That his swallowing get better and better and that the feeding tube will come out soon. I wish is that he will be able to eat all the foods he has watched Guy Fieri prepare and eat on DDD! (That's a great bday idea...get Guy Fieri to come cook for him this summer when he can eat....hmmm...)
A friend of mine shared a verse with me that she has continued to pray over him, this is truly my birthday wish for him...thanks KV! Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds."
Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, the man God gift wrapped especially for me, the father that my babies are blessed to have as their own and the man that warms my bed at night!
Through the past 18 months I have learned so much about the character of my husband. he hasn't faltered in his beliefs or morals. He has endured much physical and emotional pain with no complaining or whining, except by me. He has sustained me with encouraging words when I have come undone over the small things, like laundry. My husband has made me laugh. Watched me when I cried, then wiped my tears and hugged me tight. He has watched me succeed and seen me fail. Trevor has cheered me on and kept me strong. I have wanted some of those qualities to rub off on me, kinda like a chameleon changes color.
Now that we are on the back side of this situation, we are continuing to look forward. Forward being soccer for Eli and also at the last minute, baseball. Yep, my boy decided to play and we are looking forward to a great season on a team with a new coach and new team mates. Those of you that know me know that I will have to make a blanket apology before the season begins. If you sit next to me at practice or games and I offend you by cheering loudly, I apologize but don't sit by me if you don't want to be offended. If you choose to sit beside me and continue to get offended then you must be a glutton for punishment because every child deserves a cheer leader and if you as a parent aren't willing to encourage/cheer for your child, I will! Eli is also playing soccer. He loves it and seems to be good. I know NOTHING about soccer. I'm just now getting a handle on off-sides but other than that I'm lost unless a goal is scored.
Neely plays piano, whick is not very competitive so she's happy as a lark. It also isn't a team sport so she's good. She wants to try gymnastics but again that's a competitive sport and people watch you. She so isn't like her brother, she doesn't want people looking at her or watching her. He wants as much attention as he can get! She has been such a mother and nurse maid for her daddy. She wants to be sure he's comfortable and taken care of. She will be a great wife and mother...one day...a long time away...at least 20 years!
As we prepare for spring and summer, Trevor already tilled the garden last week so when he gets his strength back we'll be ready to start putting in the garden by April. When it snowed a couple of weeks ago, he was digging holes for us to plant grape vines and fruit trees. We got those planted and will probably have peaches this summer. He didn't get to deer hunt or duck hunt much at all this fall and winter and he probably won't get to turkey hunt too much either. It's kinda warm during turkey season (it's sad that I know this) and when he gets too warm or hot, he get nauseous. And we all know nausea us no fun. While it was snowing and he was digging holes for fruit trees, he had taken off his coat and sweat shirt and was digging in short sleeves because he got hot. We live in the Mid-South where it's hot and humid so Trevor's summer could be adjusted to inside things. Hopefully the side effects of the chemo will have expired by the time it gets good and hot/humid and he'll be able to fish, hunt and water ski as well as play ball with Eli.
My wish for him is that this week and next go as well as his previous treatment. He has the patch to put on Friday morning before he leaves the hospital. I wish that his recovery be speedy with no more bumps. That his swallowing get better and better and that the feeding tube will come out soon. I wish is that he will be able to eat all the foods he has watched Guy Fieri prepare and eat on DDD! (That's a great bday idea...get Guy Fieri to come cook for him this summer when he can eat....hmmm...)
A friend of mine shared a verse with me that she has continued to pray over him, this is truly my birthday wish for him...thanks KV! Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds."
Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, the man God gift wrapped especially for me, the father that my babies are blessed to have as their own and the man that warms my bed at night!
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