Over the past 14 months I've been living with the anticipation of the "other shoe dropping". Ever since the deer stand altercation that my husband and son walked away from...eventually, I've been waiting for something else to happen. So Trevor's never-ending sinus infection leads to cancer, my daddy dies, my grandfather dies, my husband goes through 7 weeks of chemo and radiation and I continue to anticipate, what I don't know.
Even as I pray for strength, complete healing of my husband, my children and their emotional stability with my germ quirks I feel that if I'm prepared for the worst it won't happen. I don't want to imagine the worst but if I'm emotionally prepared, it'll "never" happen. So in our neck of the woods, the flu, strep throat and stomach bug have been running ramped in our school and church. School was called last week on Tuesday for a flu epidemic, instead of using snow days for snow, days were used for recuperation of viruses. When I heard that these illnesses had invaded our school, I started germ-Xing my kids as well as the babies that carpool with us. I started making my babies strip down in the garage and get in the shower then they could go outside and play and shower again after supper. Dry skin never killed anybody and build character!
We had our flu vaccinations and I'm not really concerned that me or my babies will get the flu, but I just can't handle the idea of bringing those nasty bugs home to infect my man. If I can control it, I will. But when he went to Wal-Mart I realized I can try to control what the babies and I bring in but I can't control what he picks up on his own. I've tried to relax with the germ-X and showers but I still don't want to expose Trevor...that would be the other shoe dropping. If I could have prevented him from having to battle anything else and I didn't and he got sick I don't know that I would have handled it with a smile on my face.
On Tuesday, after we had gone back to school on Monday after being out 3 days last week I get a phone call from school. When I see Trinity Christian Academy on my caller id, my stomach clinches up. My friend is a professional sub at our school, as well as being a room mom, and very involved in our PAWS organization, so when it's her voice I hear I'm almost relieved until she says "Eli got hurt on the playground..." She proceeds to tell me how he was playing and dove into the monkey bars. The school nurse checked him out and he seems fine but he feels "queasy". I begin to pray as I frantically, but in a calm fashion, drive to school praying that Eli is okay. I pray that he doesn't have a concussion, that he doesn't have the flu or stomach bug, that he doesn't have a head/neck injury. I pray that he is okay, but that this is the other shoe dropping, lightly.
I pick him up with a goose-egg on his head. He feels fine and starts telling me the whole story. He was playing tag and dove between the monkey bars to tag a little girl. Instead of diving between, he dove into head first. He said when he finally got up his eyes were "sparkly". It wasn't until after recess when he was sitting in Math class that his stomach started feeling "queasy". I got him home and showered. He got all his homework done and got caught up on the History channels show "Finding Bigfoot". He questions the reasoning behind Santa (there is a Santa) and can defend all the crazies that are hunting Big Foot (there is no such thing as Big Foot). He's fine. I'm thinking that probably isn't the other shoe dropping, we still have to make it to Thursday (today).
Tuesday Trevor had a CAT scan with contrast as his chemo doctor ordered before we see him for his post chemo check-up. Last night we were discussing things we wanted to talk to his doctors about at his follow-up appointments. I told him I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, that I was anxious about these appointments. If I am emotionally prepared for not good news, not necessarily bad news, but maybe news that might involve another obstacle for us to cross before this cancer incident is over. I told him that I felt overwhelmed with more information being given to us about maintenance chemo but any other information that may be delivered to us. I was exhausted when I went to bed because of the needless worry.
So today when I get up earlier than usual and run behind as if I got up really late, I had a yucky headache. Today was the Christmas program for the elementary at TCA and Trevor and I went before the doctors appointments started. Trevor's first appointment was with his chemo doctor who had the results from his CAT scan. This is the other shoe dropping...all of his scans and blood work come back CANCER FREE!!!!! The doctor proceeds to tell us that this is step one in declaring Trevor in remission. To continue on this healing path, maintenance chemo is strongly recommended. December 28 we will meet again with this doctor to set up maintenance to begin in the new year. Talk about New Year's Resolutions: To give it ALL to God, it's easier on the nerves!
The next appointment is with the radiation oncologist. He evaluates Trevor's nasal-pharynx and also sees no signs of cancer! Now Trevor is working on getting his mouth healed so that he can ingest anything but water without gagging or a burning sensation. He still has the feeding tube and has to eat every 3 hours, kinda like a newborn. Tomorrow night is his PT department's Christmas party with lots of great food that I'm going to love while Trevor sits and watches us all eat, drink and be merry. We will stay for 3 hours and come home so he can get some nutrition of his own. I am so excited about going out with my man.
The kids and I were talking today after car pool about how the past 4 months have flown by but have felt endless. We discussed how everything has worked out with their dad from him being so sick to now not having cancer. Eli commented on how God has blessed his dad with healing, how God has worked through each one of us, my son is so wise. I learn from him daily. My children and their wisdom is the other shoe that dropped today as we all rejoiced in the healing of Trevor!
Thank you for all of your prayers, we have been blessed.
Psalms 84:11 "For the Lord God is a sun and shield, the Lord give grace and glory; He does not withhold the good from those who live with integrity."
No comments:
Post a Comment