- If you need a refresher from where we were 11 months ago, block out an afternoon to go back and catch up...I need to blog an update but my "to do" list doesn't seem to be acquiring any check offs and that is in the top 3 right next to finish laundry and mop! And so much has happened in our household since last I posted. WE passed 2nd grade, there was never any doubt. Neely came to me the week before school was out and told me she thought she needed a math tutor...so she's enrolled in Math Camp at the end of summer to prepare for 3rd grade math. Eli passed with flying (yet some lazy) colors into 5th grade. His teacher said something at the end of school that I knew but didn't resonate with me until she said it, "it has to be important to him and he has to want to work for it..." That's the problem most everything is easy for him and he doesn't have to work at it and right now it isn't important to him. I'm hoping 5th grade he's really going to want to play football and be in the school play so he's REALLY going to have to want to work hard to EARN his A's!
Enough about my little bundles of entertainment and strife and joy and worry...Trevor is doing REALLY well. He will have his last PET scan in August. His previous scan in March showed no active cancer growing. His doctors have said that he is cancer free but they won't say remission or "cured" until after his last PET. He has returned to work and works 8 days and is off 6. We're going into his 4th week of working a complete shift (7-5/6ish) and complete 8 days. Today (Thursday) was his first day back on after being off for 8 days. On his last set of days off before this last week (7/3-7/10) he: Thursday & Friday cut trees down and loaded them for the dump for some doctors he works for at the hospital. His nephew helped out A LOT. I didn't realize how much Jerrod did until he had to go to his real job that pays for his future with his fiancee until I volunteered to help.
We were supposed to go to Big Sandy for the weekend and get Eli from his overnight camp experience. (which one of the greatest things my son LEARNED was how to put crawdads on people's nips while they were sleeping! one of lots of great things he enjoyed was swinging from a 5 story swing!) The best thing about the camp was that he got to experience other kids and counselors that were outdoors men and hunters that were Christians and professed their relationship with Christ. He was at camp with 10 kids he know from school and baseball but he got to experience other grown men (strangers) professing their faith and thanksgiving to God for where they are in their own lives. Totally different experience than his mama and daddy teaching it, praying it and living it then sending him off to school where other families are seemingly doing the same thing. I also got a new appreciation for him as my son. From the time I dropped him off Neely never stopped talking and she talks and sings randomly. I never knew how much he translates or buffers for me until he wasn't hear. My boy is going to be a great man simply for the fact of the tolerance he has for Neely and her random questions and conversations! LOVE HIM!
Anyway, I volunteered for Neely and I to help him finish cleaning one doctors yard up, picking up leaves and stray limbs that didn't make it to the trailer. Of course he's working in the hottest week yet this summer. I told Neely there is no way we can complain or whine because Trevor has been outside doing this for 2 days already and not complained about heat, about himself getting too hot, his clothes sticky or about how "bored" he is doing it. She and I work for 2 hours, I have to go home and change my bra and panties while going through Sonic to appease my little princess. I thought if we helped we would get out of Jackson sooner, he would appreciate what he does for our family and love me even more if that's possible (I may get some sort of bonus out of this in the end like a mani/pedi). I was also trying to alleviate the burden of hard work from him and to show him I am capable. So after I put on jeans and long sleeves (it's 175 degrees outside with a heat index of 300) I go to help. Neely bailed she went to my aunts to do anything but be outside. We fill one trailer full of tree limbs and branches in like2 hours. He takes that load to the dump, I go home and change into cotton panty #3 and a new athletic bra. I just knew I had lost at least 12 pounds and was so looking forward to fitting into shorts that don't include elastic...WRONG! The job got done and was over but I didn't do audible complaining.
We went to his parents house and he helped his dad do the exact same thing, took Eli fishing and the icing on the cake...He watered skied! He hasn't skied in 2 years because of the deer stand altercation. It was funny watching his scrawny tail ski on 2 skis, he has always slalomed. He said it was even awkward trying to get up on 2 so he ended up dropping and skied across the wake like he used to. I was so proud of him and got to see a glimpse of his old sexy physique...biceps bulging as the boat was pulling him, quads firm as he was crossing back and forth across the wake...OMGOODNESS, if his parents hadn't been in the boat and our babies sitting right there, I may have made some colorful remarks...I refrained for embarrassing myself again. And then he was done, he let go and got back in the boat, exhausted but rejuvenated and encouraged that he has now accomplished everything he did prior to cancer and deer stand altercation.
We just returned yesterday from the Redneck Riviera as one of my brother's refers to it, Destin. Trevor took off work last Wednesday, we left early and returned yesterday (Wednesday) late afternoon. It rained the first couple of days but I so enjoyed being away. Rain there is totally different than rain at the beach. At the beach it's still vacation! We all used good tan management, although since Eli is a water baby his sunscreen kept getting wiped off every time he took his goggles off. His nose is already pealing but his hair is blonder and it makes his eyes look bluer. Princess overcame so much on this trip. She got into the pool and swam underwater. She ordered all of her meals on her own when speaking to strangers (servers) she played in the salt water and even got her hair wet! She also is brown as a biscuit. We did practice tan management with Trevor, but I think his skin is still sensitive. His belly has 3 red stripes from where he was sitting in the beach chair Friday morning while the sun was still hidden behind the clouds. So we used total coverage with sunscreen from then on.
We loved eating the great fresh seafood. It was more difficult for my man to eat because he still has dry mouth from the radiation. He ordered extra butter or ranch to eat with everything. We did learn Mahi Mahi is a firmer fish and harder for him to swallow whereas the Grouper was more tender and easier to swallow. It was a great trip with great family. We brought home lots of sand, lots of shells and lots of natural vitamin D. Trevor went back to work today after being off for 8 days instead of 6 but he started his day by having to go get blood work done to see his chemo-oncologist. He found out that he would be seeing the nurse practitioner and decided he wasn't going to go, it would be a wasted trip. The nurse practitioner last time really couldn't do anything without Kauffman's approval. He called to reschedule, no way no how they were going to let him. So he gets blood work at the beginning of the day. He proceeds to get to work late to treat patients, has to leave early to go see nurse practitioner. His blood work comes back A-OKAY! Dr. Kauffman has discharged him, no more chemo doctor! Trevor has one last PET scan in August (I mentioned that in the beginning in case you were skimming and didn't catch it) and when that comes back clean, we can start a new book...WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!! Can a sister get a "PTL!" or an "AMEN from the back"!
As our family sat down for dinner it was a realization of being truly blessed with family and friends that have fervently prayed for us and with us and prayed for complete healing for Trevor and for our family It's funny that we get a love note from God through all of this with your continued prayers, random messages, kind words, words of accountability. 1 Peter 5:10 appears..."And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore (done), confirm (reaffirmed us), strengthen (done with our family and marriage) and establish you." Can I get a witness?! God is so good to us and blessed us immeasurably! Thank you so much for your prayers...
(BTW...our next chapter in this story will not be riddled with random illness. Probably be more along the lines of how my son will play 5th grade football while he also wants to be in the elementary production of "Huck Finn". Also be about my princess' randomness and her love of piano and dogs (that she won't pet) and her tumbling experiences. Right now she's as limber as a 2 x 4 but very determined. She makes me SO proud in her thoughtfulness in wanting to try new things and following through. Whereas, her brother throws caution to the wind...(that's one reason we meet our insurance deductible quickly!)
Love you all for your dedication in continuing to keep up with us, laugh and cry with us but most importantly pray with/for us!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Look How Far We've Come in 11 Months...
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Made for TV Hallmark Movie...AND BEST NEWS YET!
I've told this story so many times but this weekend Trevor and I told it together, well at least the parts that overlapped. I've never heard his version of our story but I've told him that Dermot Mulroney will play him in our movie and initially I thought Vanessa Marcil would play me. I would even get a tramp stamp so that we it be more believable but the last thing I saw her in, she had had some botox or something done and I didn't like the looks of the outcome. So I think I'm going to opt for Emma Stone to play me. LOTS of you have heard this so skip ahead to the important bold stuff at the bottom. I just needed to replay the past for you so I can appreciate where my husband is and how much he truly loves me and has always cared for me.
Okay, picture it UTM, fall of 1991...my room mate and I were chit-chatting it up one night in our bunk beds. Low and behold there was a surprise room check! I was sitting on my top bunk in a floral night gown, there was a knock on the door and the door knob jangled and then the door opened-we hadn't locked our door. Dorm orientation 101, always lock your door especially at night. This tall, dark haired, blue eyed guy comes in, he is wearing red mesh basketball shorts and a with t-shirt with Red Devil basketball on the front. He introduces himself as an RA and encourages us to follow dorm policies. When he walks out I'm sure I made some smart-alleck comment about "he's a stud-muffin" or something in the like!
Anyway, I had started hanging out with this freshman guy, Chad and we had planned on doing something, I now have know idea what it was but before we were going to do it, he had to go to his floor meeting. Lo and behold, who is the RA on THAT floor doing the introductions, policies and procedures, you got it the same RA and this time I remembered his name...Trevor! That night I also met 3 other guys, Chris, Nathan and Ed who even now are the dearest of friends. Even with on-again-off-again with Chad, those guys remained my friends too. The thing with having guy friends is even when a relationship with one of their good friends doesn't work out, they don't severe all ties with the other party (me), women could learn from this...
Fast Forward to September 27, 1995....I've graduated college, Chad will graduate in the following spring but we were no longer dating but still talking. Ed and Chris had graduated. Nathan was in Nurse Practitioner school at Vanderbilt and Trevor was in PT school at UT Memphis. I started a job at the Jackson Family YMCA August 30. I had been driving to Jackson from Millington daily until I got an apartment in Jackson.
It was a Thursday night and I had just gotten off the exit to go to my parents house...
My mom had called the sheriff in Fayette County, because she knew him and he knew our family, because she just had a "feeling something had happened to me" after the her phone rang and no one was there. If you are a mom, you may have had that kind of feeling before. He said something to the effect of "now Carmen..." with a humoring attitude. Mom began to pray for my safety. No sooner had she hung up, she said the phone rang again and it was the sheriff. He began with, "Carmen, I don't know how you knew, but an off duty state trooper just saw an accident and ran the plates. It turns out it is Angi's car. She is responsive and seems to be okay, scrapes, cuts and a broken leg. He called for LifeFlight because he assumed it was more serious than what it was. By the time you get to the MED, she'll be there and you can probably take her home tonight."
At the time, my sister did peritoneal dialysis at home so my dad had to stay home with her. My brother had just come home from work at Charm's Candy Factory so he drove my mom to the MED. When they got to the MED, emergency personnel was just bringing me down from the helicopter pad. My mom said that I was unrecognizable. She said that my left eyelid was ripped nearly off and was hanging to the side of my eye. I had blood all over me. She kept telling nurses to explain to me what they were doing and what to expect and I would cooperate but I didn't cooperate blindly. My brother was shell-shocked at my appearance. As they began examining me, I didn't sustain a broken back, but had shattered L4 in my back. I had a lacerated liver, punctured lung, mashed intestines and lots of cuts.
The EMT's on the scene had been friends of mine and my brother's. They kept telling me to lie still, keep calm they would do their job. From what has been told to me, I was super excited to see somebody I knew. When the trooper got to me, my car was upside down, a barbed wire fence post had gone through the windshield of my car and another had come through the back glass and I was hanging over the fence upside down halfway in my car. I've tried to picture this and I think only a contortionist could pull this stunt off. The trooper said that it was me, a herd of cows and a cattle chute and me saying, "um 'scuse em, could somebody help me?..." and cows mooing back in response. Randomness follows me in all shapes, sizes and animals...
I'll follow up with the next installment sometime later over spring break this week...
More importantly than a story that began over 20 years ago...Trevor had his follow up appointment with the Radiology Oncologist on Friday and news is GREAT! From physical examinations, blood work and results of his PET scan, he has no cancer in his body!!!! We will have one more visit in June and they should tie up any loose ends he may have. Trevor still has the feeding tube and had planned on seeing his GI doctor about his throat issues and the possibility of having to have his throat dilated so that he can start swallowing better. The doctor said that he recommends him to let his throat continue to heal on it's own for at least 2 months. He didn't want Trevor to risk having a procedure that may be unwarranted just because Trevor is anxious to get something done. He said his throat is still healing from radiation as well as massive amounts of chemo that caused violent vomiting. He reassured us that this is just a process in healing properly. If something needs to be done about his throat at least give it time to heal from one traumatic event before undergoing another.
So in the scheme of healing and this week of Spring Break and Easter, Trevor has plans of fishing, putting out his turkey blind, sighting in his and Eli's guns to hunt and hopefully some of the stuff on the Spring Cleaning list.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Okay, picture it UTM, fall of 1991...my room mate and I were chit-chatting it up one night in our bunk beds. Low and behold there was a surprise room check! I was sitting on my top bunk in a floral night gown, there was a knock on the door and the door knob jangled and then the door opened-we hadn't locked our door. Dorm orientation 101, always lock your door especially at night. This tall, dark haired, blue eyed guy comes in, he is wearing red mesh basketball shorts and a with t-shirt with Red Devil basketball on the front. He introduces himself as an RA and encourages us to follow dorm policies. When he walks out I'm sure I made some smart-alleck comment about "he's a stud-muffin" or something in the like!
Anyway, I had started hanging out with this freshman guy, Chad and we had planned on doing something, I now have know idea what it was but before we were going to do it, he had to go to his floor meeting. Lo and behold, who is the RA on THAT floor doing the introductions, policies and procedures, you got it the same RA and this time I remembered his name...Trevor! That night I also met 3 other guys, Chris, Nathan and Ed who even now are the dearest of friends. Even with on-again-off-again with Chad, those guys remained my friends too. The thing with having guy friends is even when a relationship with one of their good friends doesn't work out, they don't severe all ties with the other party (me), women could learn from this...
Fast Forward to September 27, 1995....I've graduated college, Chad will graduate in the following spring but we were no longer dating but still talking. Ed and Chris had graduated. Nathan was in Nurse Practitioner school at Vanderbilt and Trevor was in PT school at UT Memphis. I started a job at the Jackson Family YMCA August 30. I had been driving to Jackson from Millington daily until I got an apartment in Jackson.
It was a Thursday night and I had just gotten off the exit to go to my parents house...
My mom had called the sheriff in Fayette County, because she knew him and he knew our family, because she just had a "feeling something had happened to me" after the her phone rang and no one was there. If you are a mom, you may have had that kind of feeling before. He said something to the effect of "now Carmen..." with a humoring attitude. Mom began to pray for my safety. No sooner had she hung up, she said the phone rang again and it was the sheriff. He began with, "Carmen, I don't know how you knew, but an off duty state trooper just saw an accident and ran the plates. It turns out it is Angi's car. She is responsive and seems to be okay, scrapes, cuts and a broken leg. He called for LifeFlight because he assumed it was more serious than what it was. By the time you get to the MED, she'll be there and you can probably take her home tonight."
At the time, my sister did peritoneal dialysis at home so my dad had to stay home with her. My brother had just come home from work at Charm's Candy Factory so he drove my mom to the MED. When they got to the MED, emergency personnel was just bringing me down from the helicopter pad. My mom said that I was unrecognizable. She said that my left eyelid was ripped nearly off and was hanging to the side of my eye. I had blood all over me. She kept telling nurses to explain to me what they were doing and what to expect and I would cooperate but I didn't cooperate blindly. My brother was shell-shocked at my appearance. As they began examining me, I didn't sustain a broken back, but had shattered L4 in my back. I had a lacerated liver, punctured lung, mashed intestines and lots of cuts.
The EMT's on the scene had been friends of mine and my brother's. They kept telling me to lie still, keep calm they would do their job. From what has been told to me, I was super excited to see somebody I knew. When the trooper got to me, my car was upside down, a barbed wire fence post had gone through the windshield of my car and another had come through the back glass and I was hanging over the fence upside down halfway in my car. I've tried to picture this and I think only a contortionist could pull this stunt off. The trooper said that it was me, a herd of cows and a cattle chute and me saying, "um 'scuse em, could somebody help me?..." and cows mooing back in response. Randomness follows me in all shapes, sizes and animals...
I'll follow up with the next installment sometime later over spring break this week...
More importantly than a story that began over 20 years ago...Trevor had his follow up appointment with the Radiology Oncologist on Friday and news is GREAT! From physical examinations, blood work and results of his PET scan, he has no cancer in his body!!!! We will have one more visit in June and they should tie up any loose ends he may have. Trevor still has the feeding tube and had planned on seeing his GI doctor about his throat issues and the possibility of having to have his throat dilated so that he can start swallowing better. The doctor said that he recommends him to let his throat continue to heal on it's own for at least 2 months. He didn't want Trevor to risk having a procedure that may be unwarranted just because Trevor is anxious to get something done. He said his throat is still healing from radiation as well as massive amounts of chemo that caused violent vomiting. He reassured us that this is just a process in healing properly. If something needs to be done about his throat at least give it time to heal from one traumatic event before undergoing another.
So in the scheme of healing and this week of Spring Break and Easter, Trevor has plans of fishing, putting out his turkey blind, sighting in his and Eli's guns to hunt and hopefully some of the stuff on the Spring Cleaning list.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Friday, March 15, 2013
Home...
We are FINALLY home! After 1 week of poison dripping into my man's veins, after countless amounts of nausea medicines, after a case of Peptamen boxed nourishment, an infinite of amount of prayers and praises and an altercation in 4th grade the Eagle is nesting in his own bed. You know that saying "Home is where the heart is"? My mailing address is 48 Vistaview Cove, but my heart has been in room B985 for five days. I love my house but it hasn't been homey enough (excluding laundry and dust bunnies mating) since my man hasn't been here. The babies and I haven't really been her except to sleep and eat breakfast but when Trevor isn't here it's just not where I want to be.
I have been picking my children up at school and we would either come home to bathe before going to the hospital or go to the hospital and come home to wash school and hospital germs off. Trevor wants to see his babies everyday, he may not say a lot but just having them bicker with each other I guess reminds him of home. When we get to the hospital, they are chatting about nothing and arguing about who gets to play their dad's phone. He gets caught up on school happenings and we jet home to begin homework, baths and bedtime. This weeks school happenings involved 2nd grade graded papers and a 4th grade "trucking" incident. Those of you that have not learned elementary lingo, find the nearest McDonald's or park and ask kid what "trucking" is...
Neely's graded papers weren't anything spectacular but I'm led to believe it's because she's had a lot to emotionally deal with over the past 2 weeks. Preparing for her dad to go into the hospital last week and he didn't, really through her knowing she had to look forward to his absence from home this week. My kids function by the seat of their pants like their mom when their dad isn't home. Eli got into a football skirmish on the playground. One of his 4th grade buddies he's known since kindergarten had a meeting of the minds. It basically boiled down to Eli running this kid over (trucking him) because Eli couldn't take anymore of the boys aggravation.
At least once a week since kindergarten, Eli has gotten in the van and complained about what this kid has said or what he did. Several times he has gotten in the van because he got his strip pulled because something this kid did and either Eli retaliated and got caught or the story was misrepresented and they got into trouble. No matter, this week my son had had enough. I had told him if the boy (or anyone) won't leave you alone or he touches you, you touch him harder then tell your teacher. "I got your back", is what I said if he got into trouble but I can't do anything if you don't tell your teacher. So this week, the kid kicks Eli in the package area and Eli "trucks" him on the football field. He went and told his teacher just like we discussed but he left out the key to the whole "trucking" ordeal. Even when I went with him for moral support to tell his side of the story, he never told his teacher that the kid kicked him. Eli assured his teacher he was fine, he just wanted to be moved away from the kid in the classroom.
I am so proud of him for standing up for himself and I told him so. But we also had to discuss running a kid over isn't always the best way to handle things. He got such a boost of self-awareness for running the kid over, I couldn't believe how confident he is. He isn't sorry (and I'm not going to make him apologize if they are empty words) but feels like this kid won't be telling him "you should never have been born", "your mom is lazy", "you have a sorry family", "you're dumb and stupid" or won't be sucker punching him in the bathroom or when the teacher's back is turned or kicking him in the crotch. He got in the van yesterday and said that neither he nor the kid could play football for the rest of the year. I think that is fair punishment, he's devastated! As for the kid, his mom is SOOOO sweet and I wonder if she knows her son runs his mouth or does silly things. I SUREly know my son isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not getting mixed up in 4th grade boy drama, they can work it out on their own if they want to play together. They will be in school together until they graduate so they might as well work it out now or avoid each other for the next 8 years. We go to a pretty small school, avoidance means crossing to the other side of the hallway or eating on opposite ends of the cafeteria.
I'm anxious to see what Trevor says when he comes out of his drug induced stupor. We don't condone fighting but we don't want our children to be run over either. Eli is not aggressive by nature anyway, he sucks it up until he can't take anymore, obviously. His teacher did tell him he didn't have to suck it up, she encouraged him to talk to her about it. She can't see what 20 kids at a time do or say, especially if she's teaching and even more when they are mixed up with 40 other 4th graders. She needs to know what kids are saying and doing. He understood and said he would let her or someone know next time someone bothered him. He really won't though. He'll get in the van and unload and my job is to LISTEN...
Do you ever have trouble just sitting there and listening? Listening to a 10 year old rant, they don't want you to say anything and if you do, be prepared whatever you say is not right. "You don't understand"...gahhhh...never thought I would hear that because I thought I did understand. You know that when we start on a rant, God is listening and He can fix it but that means we have to do the listening too. God has listened to me so much over the past 18 months and I've found that I haven't been doing as much listening as I need to be because I'm trying to fix it on my own. Someone asked me what I've learned through this cancer situation, I've learned that I have to stop and listen. His answers have been so clear, I just have to listen.
Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouraging words. Thank you for your frienships.
Angi
I have been picking my children up at school and we would either come home to bathe before going to the hospital or go to the hospital and come home to wash school and hospital germs off. Trevor wants to see his babies everyday, he may not say a lot but just having them bicker with each other I guess reminds him of home. When we get to the hospital, they are chatting about nothing and arguing about who gets to play their dad's phone. He gets caught up on school happenings and we jet home to begin homework, baths and bedtime. This weeks school happenings involved 2nd grade graded papers and a 4th grade "trucking" incident. Those of you that have not learned elementary lingo, find the nearest McDonald's or park and ask kid what "trucking" is...
Neely's graded papers weren't anything spectacular but I'm led to believe it's because she's had a lot to emotionally deal with over the past 2 weeks. Preparing for her dad to go into the hospital last week and he didn't, really through her knowing she had to look forward to his absence from home this week. My kids function by the seat of their pants like their mom when their dad isn't home. Eli got into a football skirmish on the playground. One of his 4th grade buddies he's known since kindergarten had a meeting of the minds. It basically boiled down to Eli running this kid over (trucking him) because Eli couldn't take anymore of the boys aggravation.
At least once a week since kindergarten, Eli has gotten in the van and complained about what this kid has said or what he did. Several times he has gotten in the van because he got his strip pulled because something this kid did and either Eli retaliated and got caught or the story was misrepresented and they got into trouble. No matter, this week my son had had enough. I had told him if the boy (or anyone) won't leave you alone or he touches you, you touch him harder then tell your teacher. "I got your back", is what I said if he got into trouble but I can't do anything if you don't tell your teacher. So this week, the kid kicks Eli in the package area and Eli "trucks" him on the football field. He went and told his teacher just like we discussed but he left out the key to the whole "trucking" ordeal. Even when I went with him for moral support to tell his side of the story, he never told his teacher that the kid kicked him. Eli assured his teacher he was fine, he just wanted to be moved away from the kid in the classroom.
I am so proud of him for standing up for himself and I told him so. But we also had to discuss running a kid over isn't always the best way to handle things. He got such a boost of self-awareness for running the kid over, I couldn't believe how confident he is. He isn't sorry (and I'm not going to make him apologize if they are empty words) but feels like this kid won't be telling him "you should never have been born", "your mom is lazy", "you have a sorry family", "you're dumb and stupid" or won't be sucker punching him in the bathroom or when the teacher's back is turned or kicking him in the crotch. He got in the van yesterday and said that neither he nor the kid could play football for the rest of the year. I think that is fair punishment, he's devastated! As for the kid, his mom is SOOOO sweet and I wonder if she knows her son runs his mouth or does silly things. I SUREly know my son isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not getting mixed up in 4th grade boy drama, they can work it out on their own if they want to play together. They will be in school together until they graduate so they might as well work it out now or avoid each other for the next 8 years. We go to a pretty small school, avoidance means crossing to the other side of the hallway or eating on opposite ends of the cafeteria.
I'm anxious to see what Trevor says when he comes out of his drug induced stupor. We don't condone fighting but we don't want our children to be run over either. Eli is not aggressive by nature anyway, he sucks it up until he can't take anymore, obviously. His teacher did tell him he didn't have to suck it up, she encouraged him to talk to her about it. She can't see what 20 kids at a time do or say, especially if she's teaching and even more when they are mixed up with 40 other 4th graders. She needs to know what kids are saying and doing. He understood and said he would let her or someone know next time someone bothered him. He really won't though. He'll get in the van and unload and my job is to LISTEN...
Do you ever have trouble just sitting there and listening? Listening to a 10 year old rant, they don't want you to say anything and if you do, be prepared whatever you say is not right. "You don't understand"...gahhhh...never thought I would hear that because I thought I did understand. You know that when we start on a rant, God is listening and He can fix it but that means we have to do the listening too. God has listened to me so much over the past 18 months and I've found that I haven't been doing as much listening as I need to be because I'm trying to fix it on my own. Someone asked me what I've learned through this cancer situation, I've learned that I have to stop and listen. His answers have been so clear, I just have to listen.
Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouraging words. Thank you for your frienships.
Angi
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Birthday Wishes...
Today, March 13 is my man's 41st birthday. When we were about to turn 40, several people commented that 40 is the new 30, or 40 is when you come into your own, 40's are great...you get the picture. When my man turned 40, he was recovering from a deer stand altercation with 3 compression fractures in his back. Today he is 41 and lying in a hospital bed getting his last round of chemo. So far his 40's have been very memorable but nothing that anyone else wants to experience.
Through the past 18 months I have learned so much about the character of my husband. he hasn't faltered in his beliefs or morals. He has endured much physical and emotional pain with no complaining or whining, except by me. He has sustained me with encouraging words when I have come undone over the small things, like laundry. My husband has made me laugh. Watched me when I cried, then wiped my tears and hugged me tight. He has watched me succeed and seen me fail. Trevor has cheered me on and kept me strong. I have wanted some of those qualities to rub off on me, kinda like a chameleon changes color.
Now that we are on the back side of this situation, we are continuing to look forward. Forward being soccer for Eli and also at the last minute, baseball. Yep, my boy decided to play and we are looking forward to a great season on a team with a new coach and new team mates. Those of you that know me know that I will have to make a blanket apology before the season begins. If you sit next to me at practice or games and I offend you by cheering loudly, I apologize but don't sit by me if you don't want to be offended. If you choose to sit beside me and continue to get offended then you must be a glutton for punishment because every child deserves a cheer leader and if you as a parent aren't willing to encourage/cheer for your child, I will! Eli is also playing soccer. He loves it and seems to be good. I know NOTHING about soccer. I'm just now getting a handle on off-sides but other than that I'm lost unless a goal is scored.
Neely plays piano, whick is not very competitive so she's happy as a lark. It also isn't a team sport so she's good. She wants to try gymnastics but again that's a competitive sport and people watch you. She so isn't like her brother, she doesn't want people looking at her or watching her. He wants as much attention as he can get! She has been such a mother and nurse maid for her daddy. She wants to be sure he's comfortable and taken care of. She will be a great wife and mother...one day...a long time away...at least 20 years!
As we prepare for spring and summer, Trevor already tilled the garden last week so when he gets his strength back we'll be ready to start putting in the garden by April. When it snowed a couple of weeks ago, he was digging holes for us to plant grape vines and fruit trees. We got those planted and will probably have peaches this summer. He didn't get to deer hunt or duck hunt much at all this fall and winter and he probably won't get to turkey hunt too much either. It's kinda warm during turkey season (it's sad that I know this) and when he gets too warm or hot, he get nauseous. And we all know nausea us no fun. While it was snowing and he was digging holes for fruit trees, he had taken off his coat and sweat shirt and was digging in short sleeves because he got hot. We live in the Mid-South where it's hot and humid so Trevor's summer could be adjusted to inside things. Hopefully the side effects of the chemo will have expired by the time it gets good and hot/humid and he'll be able to fish, hunt and water ski as well as play ball with Eli.
My wish for him is that this week and next go as well as his previous treatment. He has the patch to put on Friday morning before he leaves the hospital. I wish that his recovery be speedy with no more bumps. That his swallowing get better and better and that the feeding tube will come out soon. I wish is that he will be able to eat all the foods he has watched Guy Fieri prepare and eat on DDD! (That's a great bday idea...get Guy Fieri to come cook for him this summer when he can eat....hmmm...)
A friend of mine shared a verse with me that she has continued to pray over him, this is truly my birthday wish for him...thanks KV! Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds."
Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, the man God gift wrapped especially for me, the father that my babies are blessed to have as their own and the man that warms my bed at night!
Through the past 18 months I have learned so much about the character of my husband. he hasn't faltered in his beliefs or morals. He has endured much physical and emotional pain with no complaining or whining, except by me. He has sustained me with encouraging words when I have come undone over the small things, like laundry. My husband has made me laugh. Watched me when I cried, then wiped my tears and hugged me tight. He has watched me succeed and seen me fail. Trevor has cheered me on and kept me strong. I have wanted some of those qualities to rub off on me, kinda like a chameleon changes color.
Now that we are on the back side of this situation, we are continuing to look forward. Forward being soccer for Eli and also at the last minute, baseball. Yep, my boy decided to play and we are looking forward to a great season on a team with a new coach and new team mates. Those of you that know me know that I will have to make a blanket apology before the season begins. If you sit next to me at practice or games and I offend you by cheering loudly, I apologize but don't sit by me if you don't want to be offended. If you choose to sit beside me and continue to get offended then you must be a glutton for punishment because every child deserves a cheer leader and if you as a parent aren't willing to encourage/cheer for your child, I will! Eli is also playing soccer. He loves it and seems to be good. I know NOTHING about soccer. I'm just now getting a handle on off-sides but other than that I'm lost unless a goal is scored.
Neely plays piano, whick is not very competitive so she's happy as a lark. It also isn't a team sport so she's good. She wants to try gymnastics but again that's a competitive sport and people watch you. She so isn't like her brother, she doesn't want people looking at her or watching her. He wants as much attention as he can get! She has been such a mother and nurse maid for her daddy. She wants to be sure he's comfortable and taken care of. She will be a great wife and mother...one day...a long time away...at least 20 years!
As we prepare for spring and summer, Trevor already tilled the garden last week so when he gets his strength back we'll be ready to start putting in the garden by April. When it snowed a couple of weeks ago, he was digging holes for us to plant grape vines and fruit trees. We got those planted and will probably have peaches this summer. He didn't get to deer hunt or duck hunt much at all this fall and winter and he probably won't get to turkey hunt too much either. It's kinda warm during turkey season (it's sad that I know this) and when he gets too warm or hot, he get nauseous. And we all know nausea us no fun. While it was snowing and he was digging holes for fruit trees, he had taken off his coat and sweat shirt and was digging in short sleeves because he got hot. We live in the Mid-South where it's hot and humid so Trevor's summer could be adjusted to inside things. Hopefully the side effects of the chemo will have expired by the time it gets good and hot/humid and he'll be able to fish, hunt and water ski as well as play ball with Eli.
My wish for him is that this week and next go as well as his previous treatment. He has the patch to put on Friday morning before he leaves the hospital. I wish that his recovery be speedy with no more bumps. That his swallowing get better and better and that the feeding tube will come out soon. I wish is that he will be able to eat all the foods he has watched Guy Fieri prepare and eat on DDD! (That's a great bday idea...get Guy Fieri to come cook for him this summer when he can eat....hmmm...)
A friend of mine shared a verse with me that she has continued to pray over him, this is truly my birthday wish for him...thanks KV! Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds."
Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, the man God gift wrapped especially for me, the father that my babies are blessed to have as their own and the man that warms my bed at night!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Fun With "Dick and Jane"!
Here we are 2 weeks out of the hospital from 2nd round of maintenance chemo. Several things come to mind that are drug related....1-Drugs are a good thing...2-Sometimes patients (my man in this case) need drug advocates (me, generally in every incidence involving drugs)...3-I wish I had listened to a couple of friends when they told me about the Sancuso Patch, it's a good thing! We may be a test subject for Trevor's oncologist because he didn't have a lot of experience with this drug. Just FYI, if you or a loved one is battling cancer and the chemo is causing violent retching (this was the case for Trevor) the Sancuso Patch is a "Miracle"!!!! It also goes by the name of Kitrel. I had mentioned to Trevor's doctor that we were interested in trying it. Trevor told me not to push the issue if Dr. Kaufman didn't want to use it. I told Trevor, I would push until he was able to muzzle me, I would push it as far as I could to get the best possible result/treatment for him.
Anyway, after a week in the hospital taking as much IV chemo his veins could carry and twice blowing veins at the end of the week, we got the prescription for the patch. Dr. Kaufman proceeded to tell me that our pharmacy didn't subscribe to this drug and it would have to be ordered...Sure would like to have known that bit of information before being admitted...So it's a Friday, our pharmacy doesn't carry it, no pharmacy carries it, this drug patch has to be ordered. Trevor is discharged on Friday morning really medicated, I mean really medicated...and I'm ordering a patch that is supposed to decrease/eliminate the nausea. My man was so medicated last weekend he was texting me asking when he ate last or when he could take his next round of meds or if he I had medicated him. I got the patch the Monday and slapped it on him after he awoke from a phenegran/adivan sleep stupor. He slept another few hours and as of now his nausea has been dramatically reduced. This time 4 weeks ago after his first round of chemo, he was still nauseous and violently sick. Nope, not this week! He is up talking, walking down the street, able to carry on a conversation without gagging in his mouth...This is a good thing! We are now awaiting the arrival of the nasty mouth sores, although we may avoid this side effect altogether and that would be superbulous! When he goes back for the 3rd and FINAL maintenance round of chemo, I'll follow the directions for the patch and apply it 24 hours before chemo begins, who know maybe he won't be nauseous every day and vomit at all.
But while Trevor's life stopped over the past 2 weeks, my babies and I have been doing our elementary life, projects and all. Eli had a Black History project on Martin Luther King, Jr. He was so bummed he got "stuck" with MLK, he wanted Bill Cosby. I tried to explain Cosby wouldn't have had the chance if Martin Luther King, Jr. didn't have a dream. This project was very informational for me, did you know that Martin Luther King, Jr's real name was Michael. His father changed his and his son's name after a trip to Germany where they learned more of Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation. The tidbit of juicy history my boy took away from this Civil Right Leader was..."he was a lefty". Eli wanted to do his project on the basis that Martin Luther King, Jr. was left handed. MLK's dream didn't mean a whole lot but then again, Eli hasn't been raised the way I was or my parents so he doesn't see the impact this national figure has had on history. Or maybe, he isn't old enough to appreciate how far society has come OR maybe I'm naive about our racial cultures, I don't really know. I almost wish I had my son's mindset to see the simple things like MLK being left handed, not that he was killed for his beliefs in equality.
Eli's project was due last Friday, the day Trevor was discharged. We had all the info for the project but didn't actually do it until Thursday night after leaving the hospital visiting his daddy. Whereas Neely's project wasn't due until Thursday, Valentine's Day and she started last week. She had to make a shoe box into a Willy Wonka Valentine box. Give the girl some glue dots, a glue gun and candy and she will decorate until she runs out of something. You can see this project on my fb page. I remember Eli's box, it was Twizzlers and stuff just glued on. Neely had her Skittles and Valentine Heart candies in a pattern. OMGOODNESS, Neely and her patterns could do me in. I'm not really artsy fartsy, my daughter makes up enough for the both of us. She LOVES JoAnn's Fabrics!
During Trevor's drug induced week siesta, Eli decided not to play baseball this spring. Those of you that know me know that this is a big pill for me to swallow. He has played baseball since he was 4, that sounds like a really long time, in the scheme of life it's 7 years. I know the game of baseball, I love the sport. He has decided to play spring soccer. He told Trevor while he was in the hospital and Trevor didn't know if he heard him correctly so we discussed it again once he got home after his sedation wore off. Eli said he loves soccer and he understood he couldn't play baseball and spring soccer, he chose soccer. I don't understand soccer. I know the point is to score at the opposite end of the field. To my knowledge, I don't think there are any chants for soccer. For baseball you've got, "hey batter, batter, batter-SWWWING!", or "2 away", or "let's hit around!" or "rally on 3", or even the infamous "throw down your walker and RUN, old man!" In soccer, which Eli has also played since he was 4, there is nothing to chant but maybe, "score!" But this is the point in life he gets to choose what he wants to play...I almost think he's doing it so he doesn't have to listen to me holler. But as I explained to him before, every kid on the field deserves to have a cheerleader rooting for him. I guess I'm rooting for all 11 on the soccer field this spring...
And in the idea of trying to keep my kids life "normal", I will be entered to win coolest (or dumbest) Mom Of The Year...my babies "got" to bring home the elementary school science pets, Thunder and Lightening (hamsters) over the extended weekend, thanks Mrs. G! Conversation on the way home from school on Thursday when our weekend started went something like this: "MOM, you're going too fast!", this is going around the curve pulling out of the parking lot. "Mom, we can't put their cages close together because they don't get along and we don't want them to fight". So should I put my kids in cages apart from each other so they don't fight? "Mom, we have to clean their cages on Saturday." If you spy on my house, you will notice the hamster's cages are clean, are my kid's rooms? That would be a "NO"! My babies don't realize rodents live in filth and squall-er...kinda makes my kids look like rodents with the messes in their rooms. My babies rooms may not be clean but the hamster's cages are clean.
Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement. We are blessed and have had to have several discussions this week about our blessings. My children think bad things don't happen if you're rich or famous. I had to point out Lindsey Lohan, to which Eli replied "she made bad choices". He commented this week he only wanted to see his dad smile. The fact of the matter is, the muscles in Trevor's mouth are sore. The lining in his mouth is thickening and sloughing out so his mouth is sore and raw, it hurt's for him to smile, talk and especially laugh. But as my children were twinkle toes-ing across the living room, Eli tripped over our thread bare carpet while saying "watch-me!" Trevor laughed out loud and Eli was so excited. Eli has thanked God several times for his dad's ability to smile and laugh, especially at him. God has been so good to us through all of this, from the Deer Stand Altercation to this Cancer Ordeal. It seems that I forget that when Trevor is gagging in the sink or when he gets up too fast and I have to catch him before he passes out. Then God will send me a love note, maybe in a friend's encouragement or even my man saying "Thank You", or my babies remaining germ free. God has continued to keep the nasty bugs out of our house, no strep, no flu, no nasty stomach bug...blessed I tell ya blessed!
angi
Numbers 6:24-26 "The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace."
Anyway, after a week in the hospital taking as much IV chemo his veins could carry and twice blowing veins at the end of the week, we got the prescription for the patch. Dr. Kaufman proceeded to tell me that our pharmacy didn't subscribe to this drug and it would have to be ordered...Sure would like to have known that bit of information before being admitted...So it's a Friday, our pharmacy doesn't carry it, no pharmacy carries it, this drug patch has to be ordered. Trevor is discharged on Friday morning really medicated, I mean really medicated...and I'm ordering a patch that is supposed to decrease/eliminate the nausea. My man was so medicated last weekend he was texting me asking when he ate last or when he could take his next round of meds or if he I had medicated him. I got the patch the Monday and slapped it on him after he awoke from a phenegran/adivan sleep stupor. He slept another few hours and as of now his nausea has been dramatically reduced. This time 4 weeks ago after his first round of chemo, he was still nauseous and violently sick. Nope, not this week! He is up talking, walking down the street, able to carry on a conversation without gagging in his mouth...This is a good thing! We are now awaiting the arrival of the nasty mouth sores, although we may avoid this side effect altogether and that would be superbulous! When he goes back for the 3rd and FINAL maintenance round of chemo, I'll follow the directions for the patch and apply it 24 hours before chemo begins, who know maybe he won't be nauseous every day and vomit at all.
But while Trevor's life stopped over the past 2 weeks, my babies and I have been doing our elementary life, projects and all. Eli had a Black History project on Martin Luther King, Jr. He was so bummed he got "stuck" with MLK, he wanted Bill Cosby. I tried to explain Cosby wouldn't have had the chance if Martin Luther King, Jr. didn't have a dream. This project was very informational for me, did you know that Martin Luther King, Jr's real name was Michael. His father changed his and his son's name after a trip to Germany where they learned more of Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation. The tidbit of juicy history my boy took away from this Civil Right Leader was..."he was a lefty". Eli wanted to do his project on the basis that Martin Luther King, Jr. was left handed. MLK's dream didn't mean a whole lot but then again, Eli hasn't been raised the way I was or my parents so he doesn't see the impact this national figure has had on history. Or maybe, he isn't old enough to appreciate how far society has come OR maybe I'm naive about our racial cultures, I don't really know. I almost wish I had my son's mindset to see the simple things like MLK being left handed, not that he was killed for his beliefs in equality.
Eli's project was due last Friday, the day Trevor was discharged. We had all the info for the project but didn't actually do it until Thursday night after leaving the hospital visiting his daddy. Whereas Neely's project wasn't due until Thursday, Valentine's Day and she started last week. She had to make a shoe box into a Willy Wonka Valentine box. Give the girl some glue dots, a glue gun and candy and she will decorate until she runs out of something. You can see this project on my fb page. I remember Eli's box, it was Twizzlers and stuff just glued on. Neely had her Skittles and Valentine Heart candies in a pattern. OMGOODNESS, Neely and her patterns could do me in. I'm not really artsy fartsy, my daughter makes up enough for the both of us. She LOVES JoAnn's Fabrics!
During Trevor's drug induced week siesta, Eli decided not to play baseball this spring. Those of you that know me know that this is a big pill for me to swallow. He has played baseball since he was 4, that sounds like a really long time, in the scheme of life it's 7 years. I know the game of baseball, I love the sport. He has decided to play spring soccer. He told Trevor while he was in the hospital and Trevor didn't know if he heard him correctly so we discussed it again once he got home after his sedation wore off. Eli said he loves soccer and he understood he couldn't play baseball and spring soccer, he chose soccer. I don't understand soccer. I know the point is to score at the opposite end of the field. To my knowledge, I don't think there are any chants for soccer. For baseball you've got, "hey batter, batter, batter-SWWWING!", or "2 away", or "let's hit around!" or "rally on 3", or even the infamous "throw down your walker and RUN, old man!" In soccer, which Eli has also played since he was 4, there is nothing to chant but maybe, "score!" But this is the point in life he gets to choose what he wants to play...I almost think he's doing it so he doesn't have to listen to me holler. But as I explained to him before, every kid on the field deserves to have a cheerleader rooting for him. I guess I'm rooting for all 11 on the soccer field this spring...
And in the idea of trying to keep my kids life "normal", I will be entered to win coolest (or dumbest) Mom Of The Year...my babies "got" to bring home the elementary school science pets, Thunder and Lightening (hamsters) over the extended weekend, thanks Mrs. G! Conversation on the way home from school on Thursday when our weekend started went something like this: "MOM, you're going too fast!", this is going around the curve pulling out of the parking lot. "Mom, we can't put their cages close together because they don't get along and we don't want them to fight". So should I put my kids in cages apart from each other so they don't fight? "Mom, we have to clean their cages on Saturday." If you spy on my house, you will notice the hamster's cages are clean, are my kid's rooms? That would be a "NO"! My babies don't realize rodents live in filth and squall-er...kinda makes my kids look like rodents with the messes in their rooms. My babies rooms may not be clean but the hamster's cages are clean.
Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement. We are blessed and have had to have several discussions this week about our blessings. My children think bad things don't happen if you're rich or famous. I had to point out Lindsey Lohan, to which Eli replied "she made bad choices". He commented this week he only wanted to see his dad smile. The fact of the matter is, the muscles in Trevor's mouth are sore. The lining in his mouth is thickening and sloughing out so his mouth is sore and raw, it hurt's for him to smile, talk and especially laugh. But as my children were twinkle toes-ing across the living room, Eli tripped over our thread bare carpet while saying "watch-me!" Trevor laughed out loud and Eli was so excited. Eli has thanked God several times for his dad's ability to smile and laugh, especially at him. God has been so good to us through all of this, from the Deer Stand Altercation to this Cancer Ordeal. It seems that I forget that when Trevor is gagging in the sink or when he gets up too fast and I have to catch him before he passes out. Then God will send me a love note, maybe in a friend's encouragement or even my man saying "Thank You", or my babies remaining germ free. God has continued to keep the nasty bugs out of our house, no strep, no flu, no nasty stomach bug...blessed I tell ya blessed!
angi
Numbers 6:24-26 "The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace."
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Flashing Light at the End of the Tunnel
Here I am sitting here listening to the Grammy's. I never really got or get into all of these award shows, but I'm sitting in my bedroom with my husband as he is medicating his nausea trying to decide if he is going to throw up or not. I'm literally praying with each peck of the keyboard that he is going to ride this bout of nausea out. I'm praying that the phenregan I just gave him takes affect...asap, pronto, in an unimaginable amount of time. His body cannot afford to throw up anymore. His throat was damaged with the first round of maintenance chemo so "we" are trying to avoid violent vomiting at all costs. So far his vomiting hasn't been nearly as violent, but he still has had occasion to throw up.
He was admitted to the hospital Monday morning after our daily morning car pool. Kids said their goodbyes and love yous and we went to check in for his 2nd "jail term" of maintenance chemo. He had the sweetest nurse and I was nervous because I hated to a haint to some sweet thing. Lucky for her his chemo didn't get started until 2:30 that afternoon so there was no call for me to be hateful. The babies and I went to see him that afternoon after school and he was just dandy. Tuesday was a different story, he got sick before 6 am but no cause for worry because on of our favs was going to be his nurse and so there is no reason my haint persona should come out of her closet. She got his meds timed and charted so the Wednesday nurse had no worries. And Wednesday was a great day too, well as great as it can be when poison is being dripped into your body for 5 days and is killing your body off one cell at a time...Thursday I was a little apprehensive because she was a new nurse for us, but she did a great job tending to my man. I went to see him that morning before I went to work and when I left I was concerned because he isn't one to call for drugs, but I'm not above it. My philosophy is "sleep through it and you'll never know how bad you feel". She did a great job keeping him medicated and comfortable. We have been so fortunate in his nursing care, except for that one unfortunate weekend.
Trevor got discharged Friday morning soooo medicated I don't know if he remembers getting in the van. My friend MMY, the oncology pharmacist had recommended the Sancuso patch. I had told Trevor's doctor about my friend what she does and her experience with this medication. He wasn't familiar but was willing to try it. He knew 2 weeks ago we wanted to try it so he gives us the prescription for it Friday as Trevor is being discharged and says we can't get it at our hospital pharmacy. It has to be ordered...it's Friday...we won't get it until tomorrow. I can't wait to slap it on him and let his doctor know it works miracles. That's y prayer anyway is that this patch will alleviate his nausea at least by 100%. Trevor could be a trend setter here in Madison County.
We have 3 weeks to recover then go back for our LAST round of maintenance. We can see the light, we can see our summer on the lake kayaking. We can see turkey season, maybe. We see a spring and summer filled with ballfields, soccer or baseball Eli hasn't decided. I hope baseball because I understand that sport. But he wants to play soccer instead, which is fine I just don't know how to cheer or understand enough about soccer to cheer. That's probably one reason he wants to play so he doesn't have to listen to me saying "6 you got this, 6 you're good, 6 good effort, etc..." You get the gist, in soccer I just say "Go 6, Go!" I'm just glad he wants to play anything. He's good at soccer and he's fast, he doesn't have to wait in the middle of outfield waiting for a ball. I don't have to get aggravated if an umpire makes a dumb call if the ball gets past my boy catching and it rolls under the fence and the ump sends the runner on to 1st...I just don't know where to look in the rule book for that one...
I was talking to Eli earlier that I pray whatever God has been trying to teach me, I've learned it and shared it. I can't exactly pinpoint what I've learned, there isn't one particular thing. You know the song by Laura Story "Maybe Your Blessings Come Through Raindrops"? It seems that my blessings have come in torrential floods. I've learned that I have heard Jesus in the prayers of my children. They pray for their daddy daily, but they are also sensitive to their friends that are going through a trial. I've learned that there is always someone else that is going through a trial that needs just as much prayer and God's blessings as my family. I've learned that I can hold my tongue if it isn't glorifying and uplifting to the heart that needs to hear it. And I've learned that my children are so wise. That they are ministers of God's faithfulness, He hasn't forgotten us and He has blessed us through the past 14 months.
I humbly again say thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouraging words, comments, text messages, visits. Thank you for your accountability.
angi
p.s. Happy Valentines...but don't wait for a special day to TELL the ones that matter that they do matter. You are a better person to be loved and to love, just don't do it anonymously or inactively. Love is and action word!
He was admitted to the hospital Monday morning after our daily morning car pool. Kids said their goodbyes and love yous and we went to check in for his 2nd "jail term" of maintenance chemo. He had the sweetest nurse and I was nervous because I hated to a haint to some sweet thing. Lucky for her his chemo didn't get started until 2:30 that afternoon so there was no call for me to be hateful. The babies and I went to see him that afternoon after school and he was just dandy. Tuesday was a different story, he got sick before 6 am but no cause for worry because on of our favs was going to be his nurse and so there is no reason my haint persona should come out of her closet. She got his meds timed and charted so the Wednesday nurse had no worries. And Wednesday was a great day too, well as great as it can be when poison is being dripped into your body for 5 days and is killing your body off one cell at a time...Thursday I was a little apprehensive because she was a new nurse for us, but she did a great job tending to my man. I went to see him that morning before I went to work and when I left I was concerned because he isn't one to call for drugs, but I'm not above it. My philosophy is "sleep through it and you'll never know how bad you feel". She did a great job keeping him medicated and comfortable. We have been so fortunate in his nursing care, except for that one unfortunate weekend.
Trevor got discharged Friday morning soooo medicated I don't know if he remembers getting in the van. My friend MMY, the oncology pharmacist had recommended the Sancuso patch. I had told Trevor's doctor about my friend what she does and her experience with this medication. He wasn't familiar but was willing to try it. He knew 2 weeks ago we wanted to try it so he gives us the prescription for it Friday as Trevor is being discharged and says we can't get it at our hospital pharmacy. It has to be ordered...it's Friday...we won't get it until tomorrow. I can't wait to slap it on him and let his doctor know it works miracles. That's y prayer anyway is that this patch will alleviate his nausea at least by 100%. Trevor could be a trend setter here in Madison County.
We have 3 weeks to recover then go back for our LAST round of maintenance. We can see the light, we can see our summer on the lake kayaking. We can see turkey season, maybe. We see a spring and summer filled with ballfields, soccer or baseball Eli hasn't decided. I hope baseball because I understand that sport. But he wants to play soccer instead, which is fine I just don't know how to cheer or understand enough about soccer to cheer. That's probably one reason he wants to play so he doesn't have to listen to me saying "6 you got this, 6 you're good, 6 good effort, etc..." You get the gist, in soccer I just say "Go 6, Go!" I'm just glad he wants to play anything. He's good at soccer and he's fast, he doesn't have to wait in the middle of outfield waiting for a ball. I don't have to get aggravated if an umpire makes a dumb call if the ball gets past my boy catching and it rolls under the fence and the ump sends the runner on to 1st...I just don't know where to look in the rule book for that one...
I was talking to Eli earlier that I pray whatever God has been trying to teach me, I've learned it and shared it. I can't exactly pinpoint what I've learned, there isn't one particular thing. You know the song by Laura Story "Maybe Your Blessings Come Through Raindrops"? It seems that my blessings have come in torrential floods. I've learned that I have heard Jesus in the prayers of my children. They pray for their daddy daily, but they are also sensitive to their friends that are going through a trial. I've learned that there is always someone else that is going through a trial that needs just as much prayer and God's blessings as my family. I've learned that I can hold my tongue if it isn't glorifying and uplifting to the heart that needs to hear it. And I've learned that my children are so wise. That they are ministers of God's faithfulness, He hasn't forgotten us and He has blessed us through the past 14 months.
I humbly again say thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouraging words, comments, text messages, visits. Thank you for your accountability.
angi
p.s. Happy Valentines...but don't wait for a special day to TELL the ones that matter that they do matter. You are a better person to be loved and to love, just don't do it anonymously or inactively. Love is and action word!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Anticipation
All is well in our household on this cold, blustery, winter Wednesday. Lots of adjectives to describe all of us being home doing nothing and not gonna do anything this afternoon after school. Babies are bathed and in pajamas and it's only 4:00, but after the long night we had listening to the storm we're staying in tonight. It's "Tornado Season" here in Jackson, Tennessee. I have the bathroom prepared with the snack basket, weather radio, walkie-talkie's, power cord for phones and ipod's, snacks and waters. There are also candles, flashlights, butane lighters and lanterns on the back of the toilet. Several pair of tennis shoes in the sink...if you are prepared for it, it decreases the odds of it happening. So I prepared our 4 x 2 bathroom (it may not even be that big) under the stairs and waited for the sirens. When I woke at 12 am, lots of wind-LOTS but no sirens. Then the rain came after 1 with LOTS more wind, no sirens. I woke again at 3 to check on Trevor's snoring wondering if I had missed the sirens. We were spared after The Weather Channel was broadcasting in Memphis, where they received at least 3 inches of rain in an hour and had prepared us for the worst. No one wants to be a "Cantore's Story". Although we missed the bullet this time, I have seen several broadcasts of other locations that weren't as lucky. Mother Nature can be brutal!
I am trying to emotionally and physically prepare for Trevor's next treatment. He had a check-up last Friday and his chemo doctor recommended him to wait a week to begin the next round of maintenance chemo. He was scheduled to start today, but when Dr. Kauffman said that he wanted to wait I said "Thank You Jesus!". I really did, out loud. I told Kauffman that's what I had been praying for or that he would say Trevor didn't need anymore chemo. Trevor was very upset, he's ready to get it over with and I can understand that but he has been so sick that I told him not to do the last 2 treatments. I "ain't" proud, I'ld quit...He's having him wait because his throat is so irritated, swollen and red. He believes it's from the violent vomiting but if you put it in perspective his throat hasn't had a chance to heal from having his tonsils/adenoids taken out only 2 weeks before we started traveling this whole cancer road.
I'm relieved that Kauffman pushed it back. I know that means it will be later for him to finish but he's just now being able to talk and be understandable or not gag in his mouth while giving one word answers. He is able to talk to his children instead of them looking at him and them talk at him. He has actually been able to play a little basketball with Eli since his season started 3 weeks ago. He has been able to pick Neely up and hug her. I'm not even going to get into the things that I've missed, it gives me the shivers. Anticipation is everything in a marriage! I know he's ready to be done, so am I but our babies need to see their daddy participating in their lives even if it's a week at a time.
So many times I have thought about people in our community that have lost spouses or children after fighting there fight and fighting it with every breath. Trevor and I and Eli and Neely have been so blessed. Trevor isn't battling cancer at this point, he's battling the after affects of chemo. His doctor told him he would be able to work after taking 5 days of chemo...WHAT?! umm, no he can't! I know people do go back to work after they've had and hour of chemo or an afternoon of chemo, maybe not that day but maybe the next week. My man is getting 96 hours of continuous IV chemo of 2 drugs and it has knocked him on his tail. He is easily fatigued and generally has to have a nap in the morning and a nap in the afternoon. He gets up 5-6 times in the night because his mouth is so dry from the chemo.
So he we'll have had an extra 5 days to heal before he starts his second treatment. This maintenance chemo has been so hard on him. Before he left the hospital, his throat had started bleeding from his vomiting. He got home and the sores in his mouth and down his throat started as well as the loss of sensation in some of his fingers and toes. These are all side affects of the chemo drugs, on top of nausea. And if you read the previous post, I'm sure you saw the rant about the weekend nurse not controlling his nausea. We will go to the doctor Friday morning to find out when he is to check in to the hospital next week and I'm going to push for him to begin on Monday and go through Friday. I do not want to have to deal with a weekend nurse that doesn't know his history or won't take the time to read his chart or even will lie to my face. I'm getting fired up just thinking about that haint....When we get our orders, I'm going to ask for specific people to attend to him. He thinks I'm being crazy, but I don't have any problem asking for the best care for him. I do realize he will end up having to work with these people when he goes back, then they better do their job and treat him as if he was signing their check. I know I went too far with that statement, but did you laugh out loud?! I did, that's how adamant I am about his quality of care.
On the flip side of him getting to start his 2nd treatment later, he will be able to watch the Super Bowl. I'm pulling for the Ravens...Go Ray Lewis! Have you seen deer velvet when it comes off, it's bloody and nasty. Someone is going to track a buck wait for it to shed and then wring the velvet out for a hormone?! I'm sure it's more in depth than that but you get the gist of how ridiculous it is. My friend and I were talking about how nursing moms lose baby weight fast, it's hormone related. So if we could get that hormone from lactating mom and sell it, do you understand how silly that sounds...Silly all the way to the bank baby!
Thank you for continually lifting us up in your prayers. We have been blessed with strength and healing through your prayers. My friend "Angie" and I were talking and it seems that just since Trevor's diagnosis there have been so many people in our community that have been diagnosed with this terrible disease. It's heartbreaking that other families are living what we've been living through over the past 6 months. I ask that you would pray daily for one particular family in your community that is going through a rough time whether with illness, finances, deployment or loss. I ask that you would go before our Father with an open heart and ask Him how you can minister to that family, whether food (that's the Southern thing), car pool, match white socks, drag garbage cans to the road, whatever He lays on your heart and that you would be willing to do as He asks. Be prepared because He may have you pray for a family or situation YOU hadn't planned on and He may ask you to do something YOU aren't comfortable doing. But be assured when you follow His will, blessings will abound.
1 John 4:20 "For whoever does not love their brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen."
I am trying to emotionally and physically prepare for Trevor's next treatment. He had a check-up last Friday and his chemo doctor recommended him to wait a week to begin the next round of maintenance chemo. He was scheduled to start today, but when Dr. Kauffman said that he wanted to wait I said "Thank You Jesus!". I really did, out loud. I told Kauffman that's what I had been praying for or that he would say Trevor didn't need anymore chemo. Trevor was very upset, he's ready to get it over with and I can understand that but he has been so sick that I told him not to do the last 2 treatments. I "ain't" proud, I'ld quit...He's having him wait because his throat is so irritated, swollen and red. He believes it's from the violent vomiting but if you put it in perspective his throat hasn't had a chance to heal from having his tonsils/adenoids taken out only 2 weeks before we started traveling this whole cancer road.
I'm relieved that Kauffman pushed it back. I know that means it will be later for him to finish but he's just now being able to talk and be understandable or not gag in his mouth while giving one word answers. He is able to talk to his children instead of them looking at him and them talk at him. He has actually been able to play a little basketball with Eli since his season started 3 weeks ago. He has been able to pick Neely up and hug her. I'm not even going to get into the things that I've missed, it gives me the shivers. Anticipation is everything in a marriage! I know he's ready to be done, so am I but our babies need to see their daddy participating in their lives even if it's a week at a time.
So many times I have thought about people in our community that have lost spouses or children after fighting there fight and fighting it with every breath. Trevor and I and Eli and Neely have been so blessed. Trevor isn't battling cancer at this point, he's battling the after affects of chemo. His doctor told him he would be able to work after taking 5 days of chemo...WHAT?! umm, no he can't! I know people do go back to work after they've had and hour of chemo or an afternoon of chemo, maybe not that day but maybe the next week. My man is getting 96 hours of continuous IV chemo of 2 drugs and it has knocked him on his tail. He is easily fatigued and generally has to have a nap in the morning and a nap in the afternoon. He gets up 5-6 times in the night because his mouth is so dry from the chemo.
So he we'll have had an extra 5 days to heal before he starts his second treatment. This maintenance chemo has been so hard on him. Before he left the hospital, his throat had started bleeding from his vomiting. He got home and the sores in his mouth and down his throat started as well as the loss of sensation in some of his fingers and toes. These are all side affects of the chemo drugs, on top of nausea. And if you read the previous post, I'm sure you saw the rant about the weekend nurse not controlling his nausea. We will go to the doctor Friday morning to find out when he is to check in to the hospital next week and I'm going to push for him to begin on Monday and go through Friday. I do not want to have to deal with a weekend nurse that doesn't know his history or won't take the time to read his chart or even will lie to my face. I'm getting fired up just thinking about that haint....When we get our orders, I'm going to ask for specific people to attend to him. He thinks I'm being crazy, but I don't have any problem asking for the best care for him. I do realize he will end up having to work with these people when he goes back, then they better do their job and treat him as if he was signing their check. I know I went too far with that statement, but did you laugh out loud?! I did, that's how adamant I am about his quality of care.
On the flip side of him getting to start his 2nd treatment later, he will be able to watch the Super Bowl. I'm pulling for the Ravens...Go Ray Lewis! Have you seen deer velvet when it comes off, it's bloody and nasty. Someone is going to track a buck wait for it to shed and then wring the velvet out for a hormone?! I'm sure it's more in depth than that but you get the gist of how ridiculous it is. My friend and I were talking about how nursing moms lose baby weight fast, it's hormone related. So if we could get that hormone from lactating mom and sell it, do you understand how silly that sounds...Silly all the way to the bank baby!
Thank you for continually lifting us up in your prayers. We have been blessed with strength and healing through your prayers. My friend "Angie" and I were talking and it seems that just since Trevor's diagnosis there have been so many people in our community that have been diagnosed with this terrible disease. It's heartbreaking that other families are living what we've been living through over the past 6 months. I ask that you would pray daily for one particular family in your community that is going through a rough time whether with illness, finances, deployment or loss. I ask that you would go before our Father with an open heart and ask Him how you can minister to that family, whether food (that's the Southern thing), car pool, match white socks, drag garbage cans to the road, whatever He lays on your heart and that you would be willing to do as He asks. Be prepared because He may have you pray for a family or situation YOU hadn't planned on and He may ask you to do something YOU aren't comfortable doing. But be assured when you follow His will, blessings will abound.
1 John 4:20 "For whoever does not love their brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen."
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