Sunday, October 21, 2012
Week 7...the last lap
I've wondered what exactly to post and I just published what I had written for last week, but this post is what has gone on this weekend and what our expectations are. I've been posting and not really knowing what I'm going to write until I sat down and just started rambling, sounds easy enough. As you've kept up with our brief encounter of cancer and gotten a glimpse into our day to day lives it seems simple or easy enough. But do you really know how it feels to have 4 "followers" and over 2000 people that have chased that wild rabbit and feel the pressure of coming up with something that is edifying and encouraging in our current "situation".
So today as I was sitting in church listening to our new Student Minister, God gave me an audible. I don't want to plagiarize, that is not my intent but what he said is EXACTLY how I've been feeling publicly and privately. I've been battling with being an encouraging wife and mother, trying to LET Christ be shown in my words and actions. I ask that God would be seen in our family's situation but man it's hard when I keep getting in the way of what He is trying to do in and around our lives.
The message came from Psalms 23. He said it was the most overlooked scripture in the Bible. I got distracted in verse one: "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..." If any of you have heard this feel free to turn it over to the Cards/Giants game, Cards are going to go to game 7 and walk away NLCS champs, again. I digress. People wanna know what we need, what they can do for us, what we want, what our kids need/want, what can they do for Trevor, can he eat, drive, how's he doing, etc...It is because the LORD is our shepherd that we are not in want. Want and Need are two different things but can be interchanged. We NEED for nothing and in relation to the 23 Psalms, we are not in want. Our Lord has sacrificed His son for our needs. He has us so taken care of yet we (I) have a tendency to wanna do, worry, sit or whatever. When I was listening to the minister speak I was so humbled because God has us taken care of. If I will sit and listen, He has already promised us healing. He has promised us a future and all He asks of me is to continue to praise Him and serve Him. If you look at Psalms, it was written by David when he was a shepherd, when his best friend was the son of the king, when the king was jealous of him, when he himself was king, when he made poor judgement with Bathsheba, hopefully you get the picture. David praised God in good fortune and turmoil.
My man has cancer. We have been given a great prognosis. It stinks that my children have seen him be exhausted from doing nothing. It stinks that we all have to have the flu vaccination so that we don't bring any nasty bugs home with us. It really stinks that he's lost almost 30 pounds and that he can't eat any of the great foods that we've had brought to us. His salivary glands are in overdrive and he spits at least a gallon of saliva a day. He has to get up in the night to spit. When he coughs or clears his throat he has to control his gag or he'll start throwing up. He has already gone through a whole box of iodized salt and baking soda washing his mouth out trying to keep his mouth healthy. What is real torture is watching him look out the window and watching...watching kids, watching the wind blow, watching the sun shine because he can't be in the sun and he's so tired when he gets out there it's very brief. He comes back in to watch more football or more outdoor channel. And it irritates the fool out of me to see him this way and again there is NOTHING I can do to change it...
After today's message it was an a-ha moment, God said to me exactly what John Pond said to say "it is because the LORD is my shepherd, that we don't need to want". God's so got this, He's got us covered. He has and continues to meet all of our needs and wants. The days that I can't seem to bring myself to be transparent before Him, the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf
Here we are about to begin week 7. Radiation Monday thru Friday, Friday being Trevor's LAST day of radiation-can I get AMEN from some believers?! Tuesday will be his last chemotherapy for 4 weeks. Trevor will begin maintenance chemo after Thanksgiving 3 times for 12 weeks. God is Good!
Thank you for continued prayers as we finish this race...
6 weeks-GONE!
Here we are at the end of week 6!!!! Think about the things that you can do in 6 weeks: Get pregnant AND confirm pregnancy. Lose 12 lbs healthily, this I have not done. Depending on if you are on 6/9 weeks, get a report card. This my babies have done and we are very pleased with the efforts of our babies in their academics. Eli has fought off laziness and has one, again. Neely has gone above and beyond her AR goal, and I'm tickled to death that one of my children enjoys reading. So at 6 weeks, my husband has endured chemo and radiation and done it without a complaint. I do enough whining, he doesn't have to.
I have received several comments about keeping this blog. I do it to keep everyone up to date on what's going on. It would probably be beneficial if I wrote as things were happening instead of trying to catch up on a Friday night watching the Cards take game 5 to clinch the NLCS to go to the World Series, again. I'm easily distracted by the interview with Mike Matheny. I like to look at him, he is very easy on the eyes...
Anyway, thank you for the encouraging words about my writing. I don't think my 12th grade English teacher reads this or she would have her red pen out writing me a stern letter about ending sentences with prepositions, or my run-on sentences. I think I give my English teacher friends a run for their money when they read this, it's probably like fingernails down a chalk board for them...I love ya'll and you know it!
We've had a pretty good week. Trevor had a pretty good weekend and it helped that it was nice weather. He got to play outside with the kids. Trevor felt so good Wednesday, he and his nephew got the windows put into his shooting house. He is now ready to hunt! Tuesday he had chemo all day. I dropped him off at 7:30 a.m. and we didn't get home until 7 p.m. Wednesday was a good day. Thursday was an okay day and today was a blah kinda day again. That's pretty much how the past 6 weeks have gone and we only have 1 more week of good then blah, then cancer free good!
Friday, October 12, 2012
Okay for those of you that have read last night's post, it'll be alright. Don't be self-medicating on the account of 1 post. I felt I needed to be honest about MY feelings, not just what's been going on. I'm not going to do anything dumb, intentionally anyway, because of this circumstance.
I come from hardy stock! My family, not my babies and my man, but momma, daddy, brothers and my sister, my grandparents (of which I only have a Daddy Carl left), aunts, uncles and cousins, we have all been through so much individually and as a family. But in the scheme of things pain is pain and just because my immediate family is going through this cancer incident doesn't make your pain any less or mine any greater. I believe it's all in how you handle it and the only way I know how to handle it is through prayer. Now if you've heard me spout off at the mouth sometimes, you may doubt that and I ask that you forgive me for causing you to stumble in your relationship with our Lord. My first instinct is to pray, whether it's praying for healing, peace, comfort or discernment.
But I'm a woman, a woman ruled a lot of times by emotions. I am a woman that is not supernatural, there aren't any Halloween costumes out there looking like me with rubber or plastic faces of my likeness. I struggle and last night I was getting over the hump of emotions. I believe that God has prepared me for this moment in our family's. I don't need any "bless your heart" or "you poor thing". The only thing that anyone can do for me or for us is pray. Pray for our strength. Pray for Trevor's rapid, complete healing.
James 5:16 "The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."
I come from hardy stock! My family, not my babies and my man, but momma, daddy, brothers and my sister, my grandparents (of which I only have a Daddy Carl left), aunts, uncles and cousins, we have all been through so much individually and as a family. But in the scheme of things pain is pain and just because my immediate family is going through this cancer incident doesn't make your pain any less or mine any greater. I believe it's all in how you handle it and the only way I know how to handle it is through prayer. Now if you've heard me spout off at the mouth sometimes, you may doubt that and I ask that you forgive me for causing you to stumble in your relationship with our Lord. My first instinct is to pray, whether it's praying for healing, peace, comfort or discernment.
But I'm a woman, a woman ruled a lot of times by emotions. I am a woman that is not supernatural, there aren't any Halloween costumes out there looking like me with rubber or plastic faces of my likeness. I struggle and last night I was getting over the hump of emotions. I believe that God has prepared me for this moment in our family's. I don't need any "bless your heart" or "you poor thing". The only thing that anyone can do for me or for us is pray. Pray for our strength. Pray for Trevor's rapid, complete healing.
James 5:16 "The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."
Thursday, October 11, 2012
I had started a new post and didn't finish it so I saved it, only now I can't find it so I'm starting over and have no idea what the other post was about...
So here we are, 11 more days of radiation and 2 more chemo treatments. Trevor's platelets and white blood counts were higher than last week so he got both drugs. Where as, last week his platelets were very low and only the Erbitux was administered because the Cysplatin is very hard on the kidneys. With a low platelet and white blood cell count, the doctor didn't want to stress his kidneys anymore than they were already. He also gained 2 pounds last week...woo-hoo! This week he has maintained his weight with no loss or gain.
"They" said that weeks four and five were probably going to be the hardest to handle physically and emotionally. So here WE are on the back side of week 5 and I have to say that this whole experience has been hard and I guess you could say I came to a head earlier this week, right in the middle of weeks of 4-5..."They" said that swallowing would be difficult, and that has happened, Trevor can swallow nothing at this point because of the thickening of the lining of his tongue, mouth and throat. I looked the word up that the doctor used and it said that this occurrence was normal. It is caused by the lining of his mouth and throat regenerating. New lining growing underneath the old but hasn't started sloughing off yet. He said that last week his tongue sloughed off...SOOOOoooooo....that said with the thickening of his lining he has an exaggerated gag reflex. If he clears his throat, he gags; if he gags with food on his belly, well there ya go, he's thrown up. To ensure the lining keeps sloughing, he rinses his mouth out A LOT with baking soda and salt water. We should have bought stock in Arm & Hammer.
He says he isn't in a great deal of pain, especially compared to getting his tonsils out or even last week. Over the weekend, he laid around more than what his body is used to and started getting leg cramps. When his legs start cramping he's generally up all night trying to stretch it out. When he's up stretching all night, he gets no sleep. I believe in sleep, a firm believer!
After chemo Tuesday when he got Adivan, which is a great anti-medic but it also knocks Trevor off his butt and he slept a good 2 and half hours, my attitude was sour and my hormones were raging. I have felt helpless. So many people want to help us out any way they can but what some don't understand is that I'm in that same boat. I want to do anything I can to make this experience better. To make his cancer go away, to ease his discomfort but there is NOTHING I can do. He doesn't need me to do anything. When I try to help him or try to anticipate his needs, I don't do it the way that he wants or he doesn't want/need me to do anything. I felt like I was walking on egg shells and I couldn't figure out why. I haven't been sleeping very well and neither has he so we've kinda been buggin'. I'm trying to be honest and sensitive and I can't seem to do both. I sometimes feel like he doesn't need me, at all. If he doesn't need me to help him through this cancer thing, what does he need me for at all?! Need and want are two different things. I love this man so much it makes me angry when I can't make him happy at all during this entire process from tonsillectomy to 7 weeks of chemo/radiation. I tried talking to him about it, but of course my hormones get in the way and I went off on a freakin' rant!
My husband has cancer. He's fighting this disease physically and emotionally but his family is also fighting this disease. It isn't attacking us physically but it's attacking our relationships and how we communicate, if we communicate with each other at all. He has no physical voice left and says that he will tell me if he needs me to do anything...UMMmmm, no he won't! I know this because from what some near and dear tell me, I'm kinda that way too. I don't think I'm proud, well not on that level, but if I DON'T do it or make the effort to try to do it, it'll become an emotional battle that I may lose.
The bottom line is I'm a whack. I'm holding it together because of lots and lots of prayers, I mean LOTS of prayers! My husband is doing better than what his doctors expected. I think he's doing better than what "They" said he would do at this stage of the game. He is very tired and often feels wiped out but again, "They" said this would happen. The chemo/radiation is cumulative so it'll all add up in 11 days. He may still be wiped out for a week or 3 when these treatments are over. So over the next month I/we will need lots intercessional prayer. I will have to make a deliberate effort to keep my hormones in my back pocket and keep my tongue in my mouth. If it isn't edifying and uplifting for the ones that hear it, it doesn't need to be said...I believe our dear New Testament friend, James refers to keeping my tongue in check. It is as sharp as a sword and has the ability to make or break a person and a relationship. I guess that'll be my devotion tonight...
Thanks for your prayers, thanks for your encouraging words. I ask that you do keep my family, especially my children and my man in your prayers. We all have to have our flu shots. The babies got theirs this week and Eli was sent home today with a fever...He and Neely have been sequestered upstairs. Tomorrow Eli and I will have pajama day all day while Neely is at school taking her end of week tests. Please pray that this flu vaccine hangover doesn't affect Neely and that Eli is now over his.
I'm in such a tired stupor tonight I have no scripture only petitions for lots more prayers for my family...my next post, I will try to add some Harchfield Humor...love me some Harchfield's!
Petitioning you for more prayers to carry my family over the next 11 days-angi
So here we are, 11 more days of radiation and 2 more chemo treatments. Trevor's platelets and white blood counts were higher than last week so he got both drugs. Where as, last week his platelets were very low and only the Erbitux was administered because the Cysplatin is very hard on the kidneys. With a low platelet and white blood cell count, the doctor didn't want to stress his kidneys anymore than they were already. He also gained 2 pounds last week...woo-hoo! This week he has maintained his weight with no loss or gain.
"They" said that weeks four and five were probably going to be the hardest to handle physically and emotionally. So here WE are on the back side of week 5 and I have to say that this whole experience has been hard and I guess you could say I came to a head earlier this week, right in the middle of weeks of 4-5..."They" said that swallowing would be difficult, and that has happened, Trevor can swallow nothing at this point because of the thickening of the lining of his tongue, mouth and throat. I looked the word up that the doctor used and it said that this occurrence was normal. It is caused by the lining of his mouth and throat regenerating. New lining growing underneath the old but hasn't started sloughing off yet. He said that last week his tongue sloughed off...SOOOOoooooo....that said with the thickening of his lining he has an exaggerated gag reflex. If he clears his throat, he gags; if he gags with food on his belly, well there ya go, he's thrown up. To ensure the lining keeps sloughing, he rinses his mouth out A LOT with baking soda and salt water. We should have bought stock in Arm & Hammer.
He says he isn't in a great deal of pain, especially compared to getting his tonsils out or even last week. Over the weekend, he laid around more than what his body is used to and started getting leg cramps. When his legs start cramping he's generally up all night trying to stretch it out. When he's up stretching all night, he gets no sleep. I believe in sleep, a firm believer!
After chemo Tuesday when he got Adivan, which is a great anti-medic but it also knocks Trevor off his butt and he slept a good 2 and half hours, my attitude was sour and my hormones were raging. I have felt helpless. So many people want to help us out any way they can but what some don't understand is that I'm in that same boat. I want to do anything I can to make this experience better. To make his cancer go away, to ease his discomfort but there is NOTHING I can do. He doesn't need me to do anything. When I try to help him or try to anticipate his needs, I don't do it the way that he wants or he doesn't want/need me to do anything. I felt like I was walking on egg shells and I couldn't figure out why. I haven't been sleeping very well and neither has he so we've kinda been buggin'. I'm trying to be honest and sensitive and I can't seem to do both. I sometimes feel like he doesn't need me, at all. If he doesn't need me to help him through this cancer thing, what does he need me for at all?! Need and want are two different things. I love this man so much it makes me angry when I can't make him happy at all during this entire process from tonsillectomy to 7 weeks of chemo/radiation. I tried talking to him about it, but of course my hormones get in the way and I went off on a freakin' rant!
My husband has cancer. He's fighting this disease physically and emotionally but his family is also fighting this disease. It isn't attacking us physically but it's attacking our relationships and how we communicate, if we communicate with each other at all. He has no physical voice left and says that he will tell me if he needs me to do anything...UMMmmm, no he won't! I know this because from what some near and dear tell me, I'm kinda that way too. I don't think I'm proud, well not on that level, but if I DON'T do it or make the effort to try to do it, it'll become an emotional battle that I may lose.
The bottom line is I'm a whack. I'm holding it together because of lots and lots of prayers, I mean LOTS of prayers! My husband is doing better than what his doctors expected. I think he's doing better than what "They" said he would do at this stage of the game. He is very tired and often feels wiped out but again, "They" said this would happen. The chemo/radiation is cumulative so it'll all add up in 11 days. He may still be wiped out for a week or 3 when these treatments are over. So over the next month I/we will need lots intercessional prayer. I will have to make a deliberate effort to keep my hormones in my back pocket and keep my tongue in my mouth. If it isn't edifying and uplifting for the ones that hear it, it doesn't need to be said...I believe our dear New Testament friend, James refers to keeping my tongue in check. It is as sharp as a sword and has the ability to make or break a person and a relationship. I guess that'll be my devotion tonight...
Thanks for your prayers, thanks for your encouraging words. I ask that you do keep my family, especially my children and my man in your prayers. We all have to have our flu shots. The babies got theirs this week and Eli was sent home today with a fever...He and Neely have been sequestered upstairs. Tomorrow Eli and I will have pajama day all day while Neely is at school taking her end of week tests. Please pray that this flu vaccine hangover doesn't affect Neely and that Eli is now over his.
I'm in such a tired stupor tonight I have no scripture only petitions for lots more prayers for my family...my next post, I will try to add some Harchfield Humor...love me some Harchfield's!
Petitioning you for more prayers to carry my family over the next 11 days-angi
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Beginning Week 5...
Where to start...
Tuesday was Trevor's mid-treatment follow up appointment. He did his radiation Tuesday morning, followed by having labs done. We knew the results of those labs before he was scheduled to go to his check-up at 10:15. His platelet count was really low as was his white blood count, which is to be expected at this stage of chemo/radiation treatments. His oncologist was admitted to JMCGH as a patient so Trevor had to see the nurse practitioner. She wanted to hold off on all chemo drugs for the week...that dog will not hunt for shore! Trevor asked her to please consult the oncologist making rounds for his doctor and he believed that it wouldn't hurt him to do the Erbitux drug, but hold off on the Cysplatin. Cysplatin stresses the kidneys and he has to be hydrated before he starts this drug and has to get 2000 mg of fluid via IV while this drug is being administered to ensure hydration. So he had hydrated all day Monday, thus up half the night going poddy and then doesn't get the drug. He was kinda aggravated but we knew this could happen. It was a short day, we were home by 4:30, just in time to get to Eli's soccer game...woo-hoo!
Wednesday, Trevor went to radiation and weighed. He had lost 7 lbs the week before just trying to get feeding tube formula balanced and kept in. So when we weighed this time, he had gained 2 lbs! Packin on the Pounds BABY! Although, when you see him you see weight loss not a whole 2 pounds gained but it's a gain...He finally has his feedings balanced and he's even taking in some Gatorade and water to stay hydrated. His mouth and throat are very sore. I try to keep him from having to use his voice and have told him if he needs anything just text me, I'm sitting right next of him for Pete's Sake!
Some of you, I'm sure are wondering how is his hunting season going to go?! Well he got his shooting house put up with the help of some great guys. So when he does get to go hunting, he'll be protected from the elements. He's even checked his cameras and he has a couple of BIG bucks that he hopes he'll feel strong enough to "take down". After he get one or both of these big daddy's, he's going to need help getting them out of the field, I think I may start a lottery. Maybe something like: Register to win TIME with TREVOR! Help him Harvest his BUCK! Requirements: Be accessible at the beep of a text message. Be able to drive a 4-wheeler. Be able to field dress this monster buck and drag it out and load it into Trevor's truck. I'll have to let Trevor figure out how to choose a winner. Whether it be by random FB posts or comments to this post or mass text message to "register" for said lottery...Of course, I'm joking. I know no woman reading this is going to care a hill of beans about field dressing a deer, much less loading it. And if there are men reading this and you are interested, I'll let you know when he goes hunting.
So as we head into week 5, we're now on the back side of cancer treatment and GOD is good! He has brought us through the first half. Our family is stronger for living this together, although it has been tough we are stronger for it. For the next 3 weeks, Trevor's treatments of chemotherapy will probably be nothing to exciting since he has the nausea licked. Please pray that his platelet and white blood cell count stay at level that will allow him to endure both chemo drugs from here on out. Pray this his body begin to heal itself, stronger than it was and cancer free. The radiation right now is the hard part. His mouth and throat are raw and he has been advised that they will get worse before they get better. Again, pray for a quick but complete cancer free healing.
Please keep our entire family in your prayers. I ask specifically that you pray for our health so that we don't bring nasty germs home to Trevor that may complicate his healing. My babies and I will have to get the flu vaccine to ensure we don't bring that bug home to him in the incoming flu season while his immune system is compromised. I have NEVER had the flu vaccine, I'm from the old school of thought. Why set myself up for something I've never had?! Whereas Trevor gets the vaccine every year because he works in the hospital environment but he won't get it this year for the first time in a very long time, probably 10 years if not more.
REMINDER: Don't forget to go to www.racesonline.com to register to run or walk in the Run Hard, Fight Harder race on November 10 in Jackson. Early registration, before October 12 guarantees a cool t-shirt. Neely is even doing the 1 mile walk with me in her bright pink tennis shoes. It's going to be a great time with lots of great people and even more laughs. Better than a meet and greet at a high school reunion!
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers, for your cards of encouragement and even hysterical laughs. We are loved and we are blessed and thankful to have you all praying for us even if it's only on a fleeting thought. I pray that you are, in turn blessed by your prayers for us. I know we wouldn't be able to endure this without God's mercy being asked for without your intercession of prayers, thank you.
Isaiah 55:11 "So will My word be, which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and not succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."
Tuesday was Trevor's mid-treatment follow up appointment. He did his radiation Tuesday morning, followed by having labs done. We knew the results of those labs before he was scheduled to go to his check-up at 10:15. His platelet count was really low as was his white blood count, which is to be expected at this stage of chemo/radiation treatments. His oncologist was admitted to JMCGH as a patient so Trevor had to see the nurse practitioner. She wanted to hold off on all chemo drugs for the week...that dog will not hunt for shore! Trevor asked her to please consult the oncologist making rounds for his doctor and he believed that it wouldn't hurt him to do the Erbitux drug, but hold off on the Cysplatin. Cysplatin stresses the kidneys and he has to be hydrated before he starts this drug and has to get 2000 mg of fluid via IV while this drug is being administered to ensure hydration. So he had hydrated all day Monday, thus up half the night going poddy and then doesn't get the drug. He was kinda aggravated but we knew this could happen. It was a short day, we were home by 4:30, just in time to get to Eli's soccer game...woo-hoo!
Wednesday, Trevor went to radiation and weighed. He had lost 7 lbs the week before just trying to get feeding tube formula balanced and kept in. So when we weighed this time, he had gained 2 lbs! Packin on the Pounds BABY! Although, when you see him you see weight loss not a whole 2 pounds gained but it's a gain...He finally has his feedings balanced and he's even taking in some Gatorade and water to stay hydrated. His mouth and throat are very sore. I try to keep him from having to use his voice and have told him if he needs anything just text me, I'm sitting right next of him for Pete's Sake!
Some of you, I'm sure are wondering how is his hunting season going to go?! Well he got his shooting house put up with the help of some great guys. So when he does get to go hunting, he'll be protected from the elements. He's even checked his cameras and he has a couple of BIG bucks that he hopes he'll feel strong enough to "take down". After he get one or both of these big daddy's, he's going to need help getting them out of the field, I think I may start a lottery. Maybe something like: Register to win TIME with TREVOR! Help him Harvest his BUCK! Requirements: Be accessible at the beep of a text message. Be able to drive a 4-wheeler. Be able to field dress this monster buck and drag it out and load it into Trevor's truck. I'll have to let Trevor figure out how to choose a winner. Whether it be by random FB posts or comments to this post or mass text message to "register" for said lottery...Of course, I'm joking. I know no woman reading this is going to care a hill of beans about field dressing a deer, much less loading it. And if there are men reading this and you are interested, I'll let you know when he goes hunting.
So as we head into week 5, we're now on the back side of cancer treatment and GOD is good! He has brought us through the first half. Our family is stronger for living this together, although it has been tough we are stronger for it. For the next 3 weeks, Trevor's treatments of chemotherapy will probably be nothing to exciting since he has the nausea licked. Please pray that his platelet and white blood cell count stay at level that will allow him to endure both chemo drugs from here on out. Pray this his body begin to heal itself, stronger than it was and cancer free. The radiation right now is the hard part. His mouth and throat are raw and he has been advised that they will get worse before they get better. Again, pray for a quick but complete cancer free healing.
Please keep our entire family in your prayers. I ask specifically that you pray for our health so that we don't bring nasty germs home to Trevor that may complicate his healing. My babies and I will have to get the flu vaccine to ensure we don't bring that bug home to him in the incoming flu season while his immune system is compromised. I have NEVER had the flu vaccine, I'm from the old school of thought. Why set myself up for something I've never had?! Whereas Trevor gets the vaccine every year because he works in the hospital environment but he won't get it this year for the first time in a very long time, probably 10 years if not more.
REMINDER: Don't forget to go to www.racesonline.com to register to run or walk in the Run Hard, Fight Harder race on November 10 in Jackson. Early registration, before October 12 guarantees a cool t-shirt. Neely is even doing the 1 mile walk with me in her bright pink tennis shoes. It's going to be a great time with lots of great people and even more laughs. Better than a meet and greet at a high school reunion!
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers, for your cards of encouragement and even hysterical laughs. We are loved and we are blessed and thankful to have you all praying for us even if it's only on a fleeting thought. I pray that you are, in turn blessed by your prayers for us. I know we wouldn't be able to endure this without God's mercy being asked for without your intercession of prayers, thank you.
Isaiah 55:11 "So will My word be, which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and not succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Don't get all excited that I'm posting twice in less than 24 hours. Last night I was so tired from watching the Vols throw away another game, I couldn't even get the info out that was the whole purpose of me sitting down. Instead ya'll traveled down memory lane with me...thanks :) And now the NFL teams that I pull for have gotten beaten or are getting beaten...I'm not screaming at the TV because QB's can't seem to throw to their own receivers or receivers can't catch the ball at their chest numbers, but man it makes for a long weekend coaching from the couch!
So this is the information that I wanted to share with you and you can decide to pray for all, or pick one, whatever strikes your fancy.
#1 Wednesday, Trevor had his feeding tube placed in his belly. We were assuming that this would be an outpatient ordeal and found out Wednesday morning while going into surgery, his doctor opted to keep him overnight for observation. They wanted to be sure that his peg tube functioned properly and that the nutritionist came by to give him an informative on his diet. I picked the kids up from school and explained that their dad was staying overnight at the hospital and we would go hang out with him and skip church. Trevor and I had told them Tuesday night that he was getting a feeding tube to help with his nutrition because his throat and mouth were so sore from radiation. It wouldn't be any big deal, this is a temporary thing, probably for 6-7 weeks because he would have to let his mouth heal after radiation ended before he would be able to eat normally. Anyway, we are walking in the hospital and Neely asks, "do we need to go home and cut holes in all of my dad's shirts?" I was kinda confused by the question, but her translator was on hand and replied, "no sis, my dad can raise his shirt when he has to put stuff in his tube"! Why can I not keep it that simple? Wouldn't my life be so much easier if I thought that straight? I think as adults when we grow up, we sometimes grow dumb or grow to over think most everything in our daily lives. If I bought the groceries on the grocery list, my pantry would not be packed full of "good deals".
So Trevor has his feeding tube and is home. He came home Thursday afternoon and was so full from his noon feeding that he didn't feed again until Friday morning,(kinda sounds like he's a vampire with his feedings). His Friday morning feedings didn't go well at all! He fed and threw them up less than 30 minutes later. He said that if felt acidy as soon as it hit his stomach. So he got a different supplement delivered by a special lady from Medical Center Medical Products on her way home and now he is on his way to working up to 2200 calories/day. 2200 calories is easily taken in at one sitting with me and my babies and all of the meals that have been brought to us over the past 6 weeks. Please pray for his strength and maintaining a healthy weight. My man has lost approximately 27-30 pounds in the past 6 weeks and he doesn't look good from behind not having a hiney for me to ogle...Oh sorry, I'm sure that's TMI!
#2 Tomorrow starts week 4 in battling Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma...meaning we are 3 weeks away from being a cancer free family. I have claimed God's promises of healing already, but some of you may feel led to claim those same promises for me and maybe for your own family or another friend. God's word says in John 16 that for whatever we ask in His son's name, Jesus, He will give it to us. I have claimed that for my husband and for my children regarding their health and our future.
The people that Trevor has talked to that have fought this same battle have said that weeks 4-5 are pretty tough. So here we are on week 4's doorstep, I refuse to let what other people have told him or me determine how he may or may not feel. My goal is to keep OUR spirits high...strength and nutrition higher!
#3 Some of you may have heard or been invited on Facebook about the 5K Fun Run/Walk that some of Trevor's co-worker's are doing. If I can figure out how to add the information on here, I will. Anyway, it's Saturday, November 10 at Union University at 9 am. Registration begins at 8 or you can pre-register at www.racesonline.com, it's the Run Hard, Fight Harder 5K in Jackson TN, 38305 at Union University. Early registration is $20 by October 12 and guarantees a t-shirt. If you want to participate and can't be in Jackson, you can still register for the race and a t-shirt will be sent to you. Everyone NEEDS another t-shirt! Any other questions that I didn't answer contact Dabney Stewart at Dabney.Stewart@wth.org or Jenny Graves at Jenny.Graves@wth.org. There are prizes for the top male and female finishers. If you would rather not actively participate but be a sponsor and have your name or logo on the shirt, let Jenny or Dabney know.
Eli, Neely and I plan on participating. We are going to do the 1 mile walk, although Eli will probably run. For those of you that are not loosing sleep at night not worrying about my husband, the love of my life, the father of my sweet children having cancer but sleeping soundly and waking up in a cold sweat wondering "how in the world is Angi's foot from that horrible face plant 6 weeks ago in the TCA parking lot?" Ya'll can get some sound sleep now or take some sort of sleep aid if you're worried sick because I went to the doctor and I have a stress fracture and a strained foot. Let me tell you how hot I am in this black boot, seriously. Who would have thought 1 orthopedic boot could keep my basil metabolic temperature so high...I can wear less clothes because of this stinkin boot! And if my foot keeps sweating, it will be stinkin!
Thank you all for your continued prayers. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Thank you for going out of your way at the grocer's or at church or mailing cards or fb messages to say a word of encouragement to me and my family. Your words, gestures, cards, meals and prayers are greatly appreciated. We may never know everyone who has lifted us up to our Heavenly Father, but know that your prayers have carried us through the past 6 weeks.
With a heart full of Thanksgiving-angi
So this is the information that I wanted to share with you and you can decide to pray for all, or pick one, whatever strikes your fancy.
#1 Wednesday, Trevor had his feeding tube placed in his belly. We were assuming that this would be an outpatient ordeal and found out Wednesday morning while going into surgery, his doctor opted to keep him overnight for observation. They wanted to be sure that his peg tube functioned properly and that the nutritionist came by to give him an informative on his diet. I picked the kids up from school and explained that their dad was staying overnight at the hospital and we would go hang out with him and skip church. Trevor and I had told them Tuesday night that he was getting a feeding tube to help with his nutrition because his throat and mouth were so sore from radiation. It wouldn't be any big deal, this is a temporary thing, probably for 6-7 weeks because he would have to let his mouth heal after radiation ended before he would be able to eat normally. Anyway, we are walking in the hospital and Neely asks, "do we need to go home and cut holes in all of my dad's shirts?" I was kinda confused by the question, but her translator was on hand and replied, "no sis, my dad can raise his shirt when he has to put stuff in his tube"! Why can I not keep it that simple? Wouldn't my life be so much easier if I thought that straight? I think as adults when we grow up, we sometimes grow dumb or grow to over think most everything in our daily lives. If I bought the groceries on the grocery list, my pantry would not be packed full of "good deals".
So Trevor has his feeding tube and is home. He came home Thursday afternoon and was so full from his noon feeding that he didn't feed again until Friday morning,(kinda sounds like he's a vampire with his feedings). His Friday morning feedings didn't go well at all! He fed and threw them up less than 30 minutes later. He said that if felt acidy as soon as it hit his stomach. So he got a different supplement delivered by a special lady from Medical Center Medical Products on her way home and now he is on his way to working up to 2200 calories/day. 2200 calories is easily taken in at one sitting with me and my babies and all of the meals that have been brought to us over the past 6 weeks. Please pray for his strength and maintaining a healthy weight. My man has lost approximately 27-30 pounds in the past 6 weeks and he doesn't look good from behind not having a hiney for me to ogle...Oh sorry, I'm sure that's TMI!
#2 Tomorrow starts week 4 in battling Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma...meaning we are 3 weeks away from being a cancer free family. I have claimed God's promises of healing already, but some of you may feel led to claim those same promises for me and maybe for your own family or another friend. God's word says in John 16 that for whatever we ask in His son's name, Jesus, He will give it to us. I have claimed that for my husband and for my children regarding their health and our future.
The people that Trevor has talked to that have fought this same battle have said that weeks 4-5 are pretty tough. So here we are on week 4's doorstep, I refuse to let what other people have told him or me determine how he may or may not feel. My goal is to keep OUR spirits high...strength and nutrition higher!
#3 Some of you may have heard or been invited on Facebook about the 5K Fun Run/Walk that some of Trevor's co-worker's are doing. If I can figure out how to add the information on here, I will. Anyway, it's Saturday, November 10 at Union University at 9 am. Registration begins at 8 or you can pre-register at www.racesonline.com, it's the Run Hard, Fight Harder 5K in Jackson TN, 38305 at Union University. Early registration is $20 by October 12 and guarantees a t-shirt. If you want to participate and can't be in Jackson, you can still register for the race and a t-shirt will be sent to you. Everyone NEEDS another t-shirt! Any other questions that I didn't answer contact Dabney Stewart at Dabney.Stewart@wth.org or Jenny Graves at Jenny.Graves@wth.org. There are prizes for the top male and female finishers. If you would rather not actively participate but be a sponsor and have your name or logo on the shirt, let Jenny or Dabney know.
Eli, Neely and I plan on participating. We are going to do the 1 mile walk, although Eli will probably run. For those of you that are not loosing sleep at night not worrying about my husband, the love of my life, the father of my sweet children having cancer but sleeping soundly and waking up in a cold sweat wondering "how in the world is Angi's foot from that horrible face plant 6 weeks ago in the TCA parking lot?" Ya'll can get some sound sleep now or take some sort of sleep aid if you're worried sick because I went to the doctor and I have a stress fracture and a strained foot. Let me tell you how hot I am in this black boot, seriously. Who would have thought 1 orthopedic boot could keep my basil metabolic temperature so high...I can wear less clothes because of this stinkin boot! And if my foot keeps sweating, it will be stinkin!
Thank you all for your continued prayers. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Thank you for going out of your way at the grocer's or at church or mailing cards or fb messages to say a word of encouragement to me and my family. Your words, gestures, cards, meals and prayers are greatly appreciated. We may never know everyone who has lifted us up to our Heavenly Father, but know that your prayers have carried us through the past 6 weeks.
With a heart full of Thanksgiving-angi
Saturday, September 29, 2012
In the beginning...there was a deer stand
So where to begin, not the beginning that was almost a year ago. I'll have to post that one day when I have NOTHING ELSE TO DO, but I promise I will so that ya'll won't feel left out if you don't already know where this all began. Okay, you twisted my arm, picture it:
October 29, 2011, a crisp Saturday morning. The St. Louis Cardinals had just won the World Series the night before. It was opening day of juvenile hunt for deer season. Trevor and Eli were at his parent's house for the weekend and Neely and I were having "Girl Time". 8:40 a.m., Saturday morning Trevor calls home. He tells me to stay calm that there has been an accident...(even as I type this, I remember the whole in my stomach). He says he and Eli fell out of the deer stand that morning at 6. That Eli is okay, he is being life-flighted to Jackson. He tells me that Eli has a broken leg and has been awake the whole time. He is calm for a 9 year old that has fallen 16 feet, but he's in a helicopter so there are tons of cool point for a 3rd grader. Trevor's voice is shaking and I ask him if he is okay, he said that he's okay but his back hurts.
He tells me to get dressed that our nephew, who goes to school at Union University, is on his way to our house to stay with Neely until we know more on Eli's prognosis. I am to call him as soon as I get to Jackson General because Trevor wants to know who the attending orthopedic is on call. The thing with having a husband who works there is knowing who you want to see your son and who you don't. As soon as I hang up, the nephew is at my door. Let me tell you how wonderful this guy is...He is a Junior at the time, it's a Saturday morning for a college kid. He is at my door, dressed, and very composed. He had been called at 6:30 that morning and had been sworn to secrecy until "the" call had been made by Trevor to me.
I get to the hospital, Trevor calls and says that the hospital had refused Eli and they were taking him to LeBonheur. At the time, I was livid...deny him?! But now in retrospect, we are all good with that decision. Jackson General is a great hospital and has great physicians and a great cancer center but they are not a pediatric TRAUMA center. LeBonheur was the best choice all the way around. Eli said is was like staying in a hotel, except for having a broken leg! Anyway, I have to wait for Trevor and his parents to get to our house so that we can all go to Memphis together. I call my sister and tell her she needs to be at LeBonheur when Eli gets there. I don't want him there with no one there he doesn't know. She said, "I'm walking out the door!", and when we got there, she had literally been walking out the door. She is a great auntie!
Trevor and his parents get here, he can't pick his feet up to walk he's in so much pain. I don't know which was worst, the emotional pain he was trying to work through because he couldn't explain the fall or his back. Trevor is safety concious, especially with his children and the outdoors. He teaches them safety and respect for the outdoors and wildlife. Eli was already in the deer stand and Trevor was on the last wrung climbing into the stand to put their safety harnesses on when the stand shifted around the tree and tossed them both out. 16 feet down, in the pitch black, side by side they landed. Eli screamed his leg was broken and Trevor gets the wind knocked out of him. He has to crawl on all fours to find Eli in excruciating pain. Trevor explains to Eli how he's going to have to roll him on his back and how he's going to have to stabilize his leg with seat cushions and limbs. He tells Eli that this is like Bear Grylls or Survivorman, gotta keep it real! Trevor manages to get up on his feet and explain to Eli he's going to have to walk up the ridge to try and get cell coverage to call for help. God's hand is ALL UP IN THIS SITUATION!!! Where they hunt, there is very rarely cell coverage, depending on how high up the ridge you go or if the wind is blowing...the "Can You Hear Me Now" man could make his commercials there-sometimes!
Trevor walks about 20 yards and while he's walking away from Eli, he's trying to keep him talking. Eli is talking and hollers "Dad, did you hear that turkey? OH, my leg! Dad did you hear it? I heard that turkey again, OH my leg!" Trevor calls his mom, she calls for an ambulance and she and my father-in-law get in the vehicles to come help. A retired TWRA wildlife agent hears the ambulance call on the scanner and comes with his gator to help get them out. They meet the ambulance and take them back to where Trevor had parked but then they had to get on the gator with a stretcher, EMTs and get Eli. They load him up onto the gator, go to meet the ambulance and go out to a big field to meet the Air-Evac wing that the ambulance had called. Again, God is ALL UP IN THIS TOO! Usually when Air-Evac is called to Big Sandy, you have to get to the city park so that the helicopter can land in the ball field but where they were hunting there is a huge field that the helicopter landed in.
So Eli flew by helicopter to Memphis and Trevor refused treatment my EMS. He wasn't going to have anything done until Eli had been checked out. We get to LeBonheur, my sister was there before the helicopter landed and had prayed with our son and for our son. My mom got there and they both prayed again with Eli. Trevor and I got there with his parents and Eli was getting x-rays. Looking at him on that table, I think he had on every piece of camoflage on that he owned. Trevor said that Eli didn't want to get cold so he put it all on and the flight nurse had to cut all of it off! There were leaves everywhere, a deer could have walked in that room and no one would have seen if for the camoflage and leaves that Eli had on him.
When he saw me he said, "MOM, if you're here where's my sis?!, is she okay?" He called her and that was the end of hysteria for both of them. He was calm and it calmed her to hear his voice. I've been blessed to babies that love each other that much that they think of the other in dire circumstances. Moving on...Eli had a scrape all the way up his face, from his chin up his nose and his forehead. His nose was so swollen, I thought it was broken but they said no it was just swollen from kissing the ground. All along, my man is in excruciating pain. He can hardly move, he can't sit down at all because it hurt too bad and he was being torn up inside by watching his son hurt knowing he couldn't do anything to help, but pray.
Eli went into surgery to put a nail into his left femur because it was broken in 3 places. The orthopedic surgeon we saw is a great man, Dr. Jeffrey Sawyer with Campbell's Clinic. And since we have been released from his care in August, there have been 2 other people that we know that see him. He sees pediatric patients and has the greatest bedside manner. After he was done with Eli, he sent Trevor to Methodist University hospital for treatment. Saturday night in Memphis, full moon, Halloween weekend...you can picture that emergency room and if you can't find an old episode of ER and you'll get a good picture. Trevor had sustained 3 compression fractures to his back.
So here we are 11 months out and his back is much better, although lots of riding will wear it out and it will start to tighten up. But during this whole tree stand altercation, he had a sinus infection that we had been treating with sinus/allergy medicine. We both have seasonal allergies and they start when farmers start cutting beans or when Trevor starts preparing his deer plots. 11 months ago he had a sinus infection that kind of lingered until we found out in August that the sinus infection that would not completely go away was cancer...
Please pray for Trevor's strength. His endurance over the next 7 weeks. His emotional strength as he continues to be an encouraging, loving father but is becoming very tired because of the chemo and radiation that has a cumulative affect. The more treatments he undergoes, the more it builds up and the tiredness will linger a little longer after each treatment.
Nehemiah1:11-"O Lord, I beseech you, may your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant and the prayer of your servants who delight to revere your name, and make your servant successful today and grant him compassion before this man."
October 29, 2011, a crisp Saturday morning. The St. Louis Cardinals had just won the World Series the night before. It was opening day of juvenile hunt for deer season. Trevor and Eli were at his parent's house for the weekend and Neely and I were having "Girl Time". 8:40 a.m., Saturday morning Trevor calls home. He tells me to stay calm that there has been an accident...(even as I type this, I remember the whole in my stomach). He says he and Eli fell out of the deer stand that morning at 6. That Eli is okay, he is being life-flighted to Jackson. He tells me that Eli has a broken leg and has been awake the whole time. He is calm for a 9 year old that has fallen 16 feet, but he's in a helicopter so there are tons of cool point for a 3rd grader. Trevor's voice is shaking and I ask him if he is okay, he said that he's okay but his back hurts.
He tells me to get dressed that our nephew, who goes to school at Union University, is on his way to our house to stay with Neely until we know more on Eli's prognosis. I am to call him as soon as I get to Jackson General because Trevor wants to know who the attending orthopedic is on call. The thing with having a husband who works there is knowing who you want to see your son and who you don't. As soon as I hang up, the nephew is at my door. Let me tell you how wonderful this guy is...He is a Junior at the time, it's a Saturday morning for a college kid. He is at my door, dressed, and very composed. He had been called at 6:30 that morning and had been sworn to secrecy until "the" call had been made by Trevor to me.
I get to the hospital, Trevor calls and says that the hospital had refused Eli and they were taking him to LeBonheur. At the time, I was livid...deny him?! But now in retrospect, we are all good with that decision. Jackson General is a great hospital and has great physicians and a great cancer center but they are not a pediatric TRAUMA center. LeBonheur was the best choice all the way around. Eli said is was like staying in a hotel, except for having a broken leg! Anyway, I have to wait for Trevor and his parents to get to our house so that we can all go to Memphis together. I call my sister and tell her she needs to be at LeBonheur when Eli gets there. I don't want him there with no one there he doesn't know. She said, "I'm walking out the door!", and when we got there, she had literally been walking out the door. She is a great auntie!
Trevor and his parents get here, he can't pick his feet up to walk he's in so much pain. I don't know which was worst, the emotional pain he was trying to work through because he couldn't explain the fall or his back. Trevor is safety concious, especially with his children and the outdoors. He teaches them safety and respect for the outdoors and wildlife. Eli was already in the deer stand and Trevor was on the last wrung climbing into the stand to put their safety harnesses on when the stand shifted around the tree and tossed them both out. 16 feet down, in the pitch black, side by side they landed. Eli screamed his leg was broken and Trevor gets the wind knocked out of him. He has to crawl on all fours to find Eli in excruciating pain. Trevor explains to Eli how he's going to have to roll him on his back and how he's going to have to stabilize his leg with seat cushions and limbs. He tells Eli that this is like Bear Grylls or Survivorman, gotta keep it real! Trevor manages to get up on his feet and explain to Eli he's going to have to walk up the ridge to try and get cell coverage to call for help. God's hand is ALL UP IN THIS SITUATION!!! Where they hunt, there is very rarely cell coverage, depending on how high up the ridge you go or if the wind is blowing...the "Can You Hear Me Now" man could make his commercials there-sometimes!
Trevor walks about 20 yards and while he's walking away from Eli, he's trying to keep him talking. Eli is talking and hollers "Dad, did you hear that turkey? OH, my leg! Dad did you hear it? I heard that turkey again, OH my leg!" Trevor calls his mom, she calls for an ambulance and she and my father-in-law get in the vehicles to come help. A retired TWRA wildlife agent hears the ambulance call on the scanner and comes with his gator to help get them out. They meet the ambulance and take them back to where Trevor had parked but then they had to get on the gator with a stretcher, EMTs and get Eli. They load him up onto the gator, go to meet the ambulance and go out to a big field to meet the Air-Evac wing that the ambulance had called. Again, God is ALL UP IN THIS TOO! Usually when Air-Evac is called to Big Sandy, you have to get to the city park so that the helicopter can land in the ball field but where they were hunting there is a huge field that the helicopter landed in.
So Eli flew by helicopter to Memphis and Trevor refused treatment my EMS. He wasn't going to have anything done until Eli had been checked out. We get to LeBonheur, my sister was there before the helicopter landed and had prayed with our son and for our son. My mom got there and they both prayed again with Eli. Trevor and I got there with his parents and Eli was getting x-rays. Looking at him on that table, I think he had on every piece of camoflage on that he owned. Trevor said that Eli didn't want to get cold so he put it all on and the flight nurse had to cut all of it off! There were leaves everywhere, a deer could have walked in that room and no one would have seen if for the camoflage and leaves that Eli had on him.
When he saw me he said, "MOM, if you're here where's my sis?!, is she okay?" He called her and that was the end of hysteria for both of them. He was calm and it calmed her to hear his voice. I've been blessed to babies that love each other that much that they think of the other in dire circumstances. Moving on...Eli had a scrape all the way up his face, from his chin up his nose and his forehead. His nose was so swollen, I thought it was broken but they said no it was just swollen from kissing the ground. All along, my man is in excruciating pain. He can hardly move, he can't sit down at all because it hurt too bad and he was being torn up inside by watching his son hurt knowing he couldn't do anything to help, but pray.
Eli went into surgery to put a nail into his left femur because it was broken in 3 places. The orthopedic surgeon we saw is a great man, Dr. Jeffrey Sawyer with Campbell's Clinic. And since we have been released from his care in August, there have been 2 other people that we know that see him. He sees pediatric patients and has the greatest bedside manner. After he was done with Eli, he sent Trevor to Methodist University hospital for treatment. Saturday night in Memphis, full moon, Halloween weekend...you can picture that emergency room and if you can't find an old episode of ER and you'll get a good picture. Trevor had sustained 3 compression fractures to his back.
So here we are 11 months out and his back is much better, although lots of riding will wear it out and it will start to tighten up. But during this whole tree stand altercation, he had a sinus infection that we had been treating with sinus/allergy medicine. We both have seasonal allergies and they start when farmers start cutting beans or when Trevor starts preparing his deer plots. 11 months ago he had a sinus infection that kind of lingered until we found out in August that the sinus infection that would not completely go away was cancer...
Please pray for Trevor's strength. His endurance over the next 7 weeks. His emotional strength as he continues to be an encouraging, loving father but is becoming very tired because of the chemo and radiation that has a cumulative affect. The more treatments he undergoes, the more it builds up and the tiredness will linger a little longer after each treatment.
Nehemiah1:11-"O Lord, I beseech you, may your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant and the prayer of your servants who delight to revere your name, and make your servant successful today and grant him compassion before this man."
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